Wishing

wishing [twentieth of April, 2019]

I have spent my life looking for something new,
the things I hold on to are so fleeting, so few.

always wishing for something different.
new experiences, new horizons,
lest I start losing interest.

unstable, unsettled, a wandering man,
on and on I go, as far as I can.

eternally searching, I'm trying to find
the glorious feeling, that shiver down my spine,
like the fireworks bursting in my mind
the first time I called you mine.

But I've begun to hate change,
Realized the future isn't mine to rearrange.
indeed, how bizzare,
indeed, how strange,
a man who seeks adventures afar
and a boy who's terrified to change.

his mind wanders on and on, next chapter, next page,
yet he clings on and on, to the safety of his cage.
everyone says he'll break free someday,
but all he knows is that it is not today.