Just A Girl

Just a lost girl, looking to fit in.
I’ve moved from place to place,
But i’m still just a stray kitten.
People look at me with hate in their eyes.
I use my greatest weapon to hide my tears.
That weapon is a smile.
When they aren’t looking, I delve deep into my fears
Realizing the harsh truth
I am alone and have no one but myself to turn to.
I try communicating with others
Sharing my ideas
Yet everyone seems to run away
Never looking back.
I put myself out there
Arranging plans with acquaintances
Hoping they’ll accept me and bring with them others.
Time passes and I realize I’ve been abandoned.
My fears consume me, altering my reality.
I often ask myself why do others turn away from me.
Why am I rejected and pushed off to the side.
What did I do wrong that puts me in this position?
I may be different than others and may not be in the now
But I am still a caring person and put others before me.
So why must I be off on the sidelines,
Observing others, while they are fulfilling their dreams?
I wait for someone to welcome me with open arms,
Allowing me to join their club.
Days turn into weeks
Weeks turn into months
Months turn into years
No one has welcomed me
With each day that passes, I delve deeper into obscurity
My walls become progressively impenetrable,
Because the world keeps me locked away
My smiles begin to diminish
My hate towards the world flourishes
The last bit of hope I contain disintegrates
Just a girl looking to fit in
Just a girl who has drifted into deep sleep.
Just a girl who never knew happiness.
Just a girl.