Open Letter to Black Women

Open Letter to Black Women

First, I have been a black female all of my life. Now, I have had what I call 'white' thoughts about myself, BUT, I have been black and female ALL of my life. I have questioned whether I was feminine enough or too masculine. I have wondered whether I was attractive enough, thin enough, and all the general things females concern themselves with when it comes to who we are in this world. I have wondered whether I have been loved and whether I have either not loved enough or loved too much. I have been single, married, separated, divorced and a widow. I have felt sexy and been promiscuous. I have been faithful and unfaithful, walked through adultery and I have been the adulteress. I have murdered, though not in the physical sense. I have been confident and scared as hell. I have been lied to, lied on and I have been the liar. I have been offended, jealous, angry, bitter and hate-filled. I have been emotionally lost and physically abused. I have been the abuser. I have been forgotten and I have been held in high esteem.

Sometimes we find it hard to live because we do not know who we really are. It is because we do not know who we really are that we readily gravitate to what we see in others and take that to be our own expression. This can leave us frustrated and empty.

Who are we?

We are mothers of earth. Earth is made up of minerals. Minerals are nutrients nourishing other elements. We are the backbone and help hold things together. When you look at our stature we are splendid, fearfully and wonderfully made. We were made for man and not him for us. In that is one of the most profound testaments of who we are. We are the core. We are the nurturers. We are so unique and so purposeful and intentional that we carry the whole of humanity in our womb.

In our character comes the integrity to stand. We are great communicators. We are able to look at you and you know exactly what we are saying even though we have not spoken a word or we can look at you and leave you wondering forever where we are in our mind. We can extend love at a glance and in the next glance cut down trees. We are determined to never be helpless but helpful and that has been thrown in our face as if our essence has nothing to contribute

Think of this, we are so uniquely and wonderfully and fearfully made that others go to extremes risking cancer to tan their skin, add foreign objects to increase their breasts and buttocks, take injections to plump up their lips and forge to taste the fruit of our men but in a lot of instances without the benefit of marrying them because as they say, he is the forbidden fruit. WOW, I digressed for a moment, but I am no longer angry about that because I do understand. You see for me, there is no finer frame than that of the black man.

If the truth is told, we were studied and then stripped. Think about that a moment. We were told we were too black, too shapely, too loud, too confident, too opinionated, too confrontational and just too much. The others could wear clothes to the office with all their cleavage out and not a word uttered. We could be completely covered, but because our skirt fits our curves or our dresses fit our curves we were deemed to be dressed inappropriately. We believed the lie that our hair was a huge problem which led to straightening and adding to instead of embracing our own. The others could come to the office with hair a mile from their head, in fifty shades, yet we can't wear braids folded into a french roll because again, it is deemed inappropriate. One of the things that sadden me, though, is that now we are also looking to plump the things that we have naturally. We are no longer willing to find ways to enhance what we were given at birth through natural means.

Listen:
I know color isn't supposed to matter much
but what has happened to you my sistah?
There was a time when you thought more of yourself than what I see now
and it gives more credence to why they say, "the man won't buy the cow".
There was a time when you couldn't find a black woman so revealing
and yes indeed she still knew she was appealing.
Her values were more readily seen
rather than the curvature of her jeans.
For some reason, you thought you needed to be more like them...
modesty use to be your policy.

Now you're living a life of hypocrisy.
Now you flash it all just like the other side
and seemingly you have lost what once was your pride.
Pride in how you carried yourself.
Now showing everything you've got leaves you with nothing left.

Wanting the best but living as an adulteress.
You say you just want to be free
but my sistah, tell me...
why does it have to cost your Dignity?

Now, the others are embracing the things that we have come to detest and we are busy trying to adapt to be like the other side. If we don't shed the remnants of the past misinformation and move toward embracing ourselves, we will have nothing left. We are seen in large proportions as the quintessential angry black woman. I get it! I really do understand, BUT Girl, If You Don't Wake Up...

Our black men have been trying for decades now to apologize, to elevate, and appreciate us and yet we fail to listen. Let me clarify. I am talking about 'real' black men -- not simply black males. If you have ever had the pleasure of being in his presence you never mistake him for anything other than the King that he truly is. Too often we have awakened a male that still does not know who he is and therefore sleeps soundly while trying to maneuver in this world. He can't lead you because he has no direction for himself. So I am not referencing him. I am speaking of the man that understands who he is and knows where he is going. A man who works 12-16 hour days, rolls and romps with the kids after work helps you in the kitchen and still makes you feel like a lady -- THAT is a great man. This man has been calling out to you from across the divide saying we made a mistake and he realizes he needs you to survive. Too often his message is falling on deaf ears.

We say we have shed too man tears, experienced too much fear and that we can no longer trust. I hear you -- BUT trust me must! We must trust that our position is unique and not be afraid of those who continually try to seek -- who we are, what we are and why we are. There is no one that can take our place but Girl, If You Don't Wake Up you will not like your space. The beauty that is uniquely you will always come through when you allow yourself to be uniquely you. Holding on to pain while wanting something different is insane. Letting go of what serves you no more will release you to live again.

All of my experiences are unique and yet shared by many through similar circumstances. You get one life but you can live through many lifestyles within that one life. How we choose to present ourselves determines the quality of life we will experience. And, Girl, If You Don't Wake Up you will not get the full benefit of your purpose.

It is time to slow down and take inventory. It is time to forgive yourself and blame no one else. Now is the time to live and grow from your experiences. Change your mind and find yourself and then be present. Awake oh sleeper while it is still day.