A Lot Of Brains

"Doctor! Is there a doctor around, my friend is choking!" somebody on the street yelled. Jade felt excited, this was her first time experiencing such a scenario, but like every other doctor she'd prepared a line or two should the situation arise.

She cleared her throat and took a step forward. Before she could open her mouth though a person walked past her and said: "Don't worry, I'm a doctor, let me look at your friend."

The new doctor on the scene crouched in front of the patient and started to perform the appropriate maneuvers.

'Whatever," Jade thought to herself as she started to walk away. "Can't afford to be late for work when I'm not the one saving lives here."

As she maneuvered through the gathered crowd, Jade suddenly heard a loud and urgent scream. Quickly she turned her head towards where the other doctor was.

She was closing the patient's eyes, his companion was crying over the new corpse, blood was pooling in the mouth and running down the sides of the cheeks.

"What just happened?" Jade asked herself as she stepped out of the circle of people surrounding the scene. She wanted to ask this other doctor what had happened. From a distance the situation had looked like something that could be resolved quick and clean. So, why the corpse. Why all the blood.

Ambulances started to arrive, though none of them looked like the ones from the hospital nearby where she worked at. The people of the crowd took a few pictures, but they as a whole were dispersing.

The ambulance staff didn't even ask anything of the other doctor. They loaded the corpse silently into the vehicle and the doctor started to leave. Now that Jade paid more attention to her, she was wearing a white coat despite being outside. A coat which she threw at one of the ambulance staff's face as she continued down the street.

Jade approached the staff, said she was a doctor and that she wanted to check on the corpse. She had a bad feeling. In the initial pet down one thing was made clear to her. The ribs were completely shattered. She stepped back and none of the staff met her eyes when she stared at them.

Forget this.

This was what she should do. But no.

Her legs decided to follow after the doctor and see what's up.

She entered an alley and Jade followed. There was a crisp black suit wrapped up and taped to the side of a building. The 'doctor' stripped and removed the tape so she could take the suit. Jade hung out near the start of the alley, confident she wouldn't be spotted.

After getting dressed the now businesswoman continued down the alley and Jade followed.

She headed for a hot dog stand.

Jade settled herself out of hearing range and watched.

Her target raised a single finger and the man pulled out a dog and put it between a bun. He squirted a fair amount of everything and handed the slimy thing to his client.

She took a bite and spit it out into the guy's face.

His face was tinted red with anger, but he contained it. He grabbed his cellphone, but stopped once the client pulled out some sort of card. All color seeped away from his face.

She handed him a piece of paper, that looked a lot like a contract along with a pen and he signed reluctantly. The ex-doctor left and the man started to pack up the things in his stand.

Jade felt it was safe to approach.

"What happened?" she asked the man.

"Health inspector ate a dog with a roach in it. Just my luck. Forced me to sign some contract, else she'd close me up and sue. Now I'm essentially a slave to their company." the man's eyes filled with tears and he crouched on the ground and cried.

Jade removed the lid that separated her from the hot dogs and looked into the water. Grabbing the fork she prepared to get herself a dog.

"May I?" she asked the hot dog man, but his hot dog heart was too soggy from tears and he didn't have it in him to answer. So she went right on ahead.

The hot dog she pulled out split in two with a pull from her and the contents were revealed. It was stuffed with parts of dead cockroaches.

"First of all - gross. Second - two people got their lives ruined today by a fake professional." she winced as a roach freed itself from the dog and fell to the street. It ran off. "This is beyond me. I'll call the police and tail her to make it easier on them. "

So she followed and watched her change into yet another disguise. She wore a turtleneck sweater and comfy looking jeans. Also glasses. They entered a nearby building, which judging from the signs was used for couple counseling.

She sat herself in front of the office, pretending to be a client and listened to what was happening inside.

"Now you're a a chicken and she's a fox. Haha." she heard her target from inside. "Yeah go for the eyes. She can't run if she can't see."

She heard a sharp scream of pain and clutched her chest.

"Okay now you're a kung fu master that can fight without seeing and she's the chicken." came another yell from inside. "Yeah! Break those bones, use your chi or whatever."

There were several sharp snapping voices coming from inside.

"Now you're both-" Jude couldn't take it anymore. She stood up and prepared to intervene. But thankfully, the police stormed the building. They quickly entered the room and apprehended the suspect.

There were two other people in the room. One woman was rolling around, clucking like a chicken in pain. The other woman was running around, blood seeping from her eyes, and fighting the policemen around her.

Jade cringed at the sight of the injuries. At least they were alive, she guessed.

As they were taking the woman away, handcuffed, she caught Jade's eyes and smiled. That sent a shudder down her spine.

Two days later, after she'd recovered from the ordeal Jade entered the operation table. None of the usual staff were there.

In addition, there was nobody on the operation table.

"What-?" she tried to say but two nurses grabbed her and put her on the table.

"You know," a voice above her. She looked and there she was. The 'doctor' from two days ago, dressed like an actual doctor. "I am a firm believer that to play a role properly you have to eat the brain of somebody who's great at the thing you're trying to play."

"The hell is wrong with you!" Jade cried, tears in her eyes.

"Nothing really. Just indecisive I guess. When I won the lottery, I thought with all the free time I could be a psychiatrist, a doctor, a vendor, whatever, but those all take way too long to learn. So I figured it'd be easier to eat brains and absorb the skills inside."

"Life doesn't work like that. This is complete idiocy!" Jade yelled and started screaming in the hopes that somebody heard. "How'd you get away."

"I ate the police chief's brain." she grinned. "And of course I know it doesn't work like that. But placebo works and this is placebo. Get it? I'm not an idiot."

She laughed and tapped her forehead with her index finger.

"Can't wait to be you. How is it?" she asked politely.

"Hellish!" Jade cried.

"Sounds fun." she giggled. "Well cut her up. Time to eat!"