October

So it’s been a year, I’d say from when I really liked someone. I’ ve been okay it wasn't the end of thing till I met him. his eyes are brown, he recently got a new hair cut, he tall at least for me I’d say, he’s good at soccer, other sports, and he’s kind to the people that he knows.

A few days ago I told a few friends about him and what's been happening. The next thing you know they were forcing me to do something that I didn't want to do, so I ran away. Next thing you know they went up to him and bugged him until he said those un-fateful words, “ I don't even like her, I only starred at her once the other times I was just looking around”.

Those words broke my heart and the next day I tried Avoiding him but being the dumb-ass I am I did the worst job at that, and thankfully I was the only one doing a sucky job at it. We still kept staring at each other any chance we got without being noticed. It’s Friday and I think that this happened on Monday. I can't keep going on mindlessly staring at him. I already not happy with the zone that we're in right now I wanna know everything I can about him, I wanna text him at all hours of the night, I wanna go to dances & dates with him before any of us leave. I just want a moment where I can reminisce about everything we did together. So If I want to find out the truth then I must try to start it off. I don't just like him out of being lonely, desperate, or off his looks. I don't know if it's just me or what but when we stare I feel different but in a connected way.

Some of my friends say that I'm too good for him, but I don’t believe that on any level. Were all humans an yea we have things that we do better than others, but that doesn’t make us any less better than anyone else that's around us no matter how old we are. There is no better than th other there is difference which makes us unique from everyone else. Even if my friend don't like him or think I can do better well I don't care in the slightest I'm tired of being bored of everyone around me say the thing that I don't even give a thought to jus to fit in or so that I'm not with my worst fear loneliness not romanticly, but in general I want to figure it out again when it wasn't all difficult and I thought the world was not as fucked up as it seemed.

So I'll do as I please and smile, talk to him, and I might just have a chance!?