Forgiveness

Everyday I have hardcore anxiety . Every day I want to shut it off. Everyday I want to erase who I was. And who I may become. Everyday my past haunts me and my future tortures me. Everyday my past kills me. Everyday I beg god for solace. Forgiveness. Everyday my soul dies some more... But every day I tell myself to be strong. Every day. I tell myself there is a lesson somewhere. Everyday I tell myself there must be forgiveness somewhere. Every day I am reminded I don't deserve anything. And every day I ask why.

No one can know the battle I fight. The demons that took everything away. No one can know how much my heart aches for the pain in my future. And the pain in everyone else's future.. forgive myself I cannot. Forgive you. I cannot. Yet here I am. Pleading with God. Begging him for the strength to continue on this path he has set before me. Because to believe anything else is to believe the devil has won. And the sadness inside my soul will never end.. forgive me my child. For they know not what they have done. Those words ring so true. So loud and clear.