Who Are You?

“Shade! Thank god. I can‘t make another step in this endless desert. I’ll just lie here for a while. Maybe forever.”

“I don’t want you here forever.”

“Who the hell are you? Where’d you come from? Hiding in this pocket of shade? No! Can’t be! I don’t think you’re real.”

“Take a look at yourself and tell me you’re real.”

“I know I’m real—well, at least I think I am. Thinking’s a bit hard right now.”

“That’s what’s letting me connect with you. You’re half dead from thirst, would be already if you hadn’t found this cave.”

“Cave? It’s just a pocket of shade.”

“No, it bends and goes back quite a ways.”

“Can’t see, the glare, my eyes burn. I had to prove I could do it. Dipshit. Now I’m batshit crazy and talking to myself? Not even myself, a mirage. Why? Cause I can I guess. Okay, so who are you my imaginary friend?”

“I’m not imaginary, I’m more real than you right now. Dying of thirst causes hallucinations.”

“My point. But why a crusty old fart like you? I’d prefer a gorgeous woman as my final thoughts.”

“Good luck with that. I’ve been waiting for one to come along for 22 years.”

“You’ve been here for 22 years? How? Why? There’s no food or water, just sand to the horizon.”

“There’s water, But food is harder to get. The why is the same as you; the legend of gold buried at this location.”

“Ohh, god, where’s the water? Please. I’ll do anything, even believe you're not just my hallucination.”

“You gotta do something for me.”

“Whatever. Anything, just where’s the water?”

“Head farther into the cave, in about 20 feet you’ll find a little pool. Don’t drink too fast, you’ll puke it all back up.”

“Okay, but I don’t think I can stand.”

“Crawl, just get to the water.”

“I can’t. Jesus, I’m exhausted.”

“Do it or die, butthead. You’ll find what’s left of me half way there, I didn’t make it to the pool.”

“Okay. What do I have to do for you?”

“Take my skull back with you and I’ll be able to leave here too. We’ll still be able to talk and I’ll tell you where the money is really hidden. The desert story was a lie.”

“That’s you? You had bad teeth.”

“Yes. Don’t be a smart ass. Get to the water!”

“I’m getting there. I can smell it now.”

“You kept the canteen and it’ll hold enough to get you through the 2 days walk to the next water. Go directly east and you’ll find another outcropping, fill up there and it’s another day and a half east to a state Highway where you’ll get picked up. I’ll guide you.”

“Where’s the money?”

“It’s not in the desert, we can drive there.”

“We?”

“Yeah, we. As long as you keep my skull I can enjoy what the money will buy through you.”

“Sounds kinky, but it’s a deal!”