The Tea

I'm still in love with john I just wish he was a good person who he was but the stuff he does I don’t agree with. If only I can date him and have audri understand but I still don’t know if I should date him or not date him I’m still very confused on my feelings right now I don’t even know whom to like without having someone disagree or them being too far overall I’m scare to be in a relationship I guess and his family don’t like my family and that can be a problem if we do he may not even like me still and I just want a life where everyone is happy but that world only exists in my fairy tale or dream. If only we can have everything we want but we can’t that’s not how this world works instead we have to go through stuff we don’t know how to solve or don’t understand why we’re going through this but when I was in the wreck with john and I found out that he had protected me I was like there is hope we me and him but then we started talking and I feel that spark with him again I felt I had someone who cares for me and I could talk to him but then I realize he was dating audri but that what I heard I felt heartbroken that this was happening so I try to forget him then I block him on snap chat to prove to audri that I didn’t like him but deep inside I did I just didn’t want to say anything to her or anyone. Me and Him Started dating but we didn’t tell audri but the stuff he said to her I didn’t know he was even saying it and now I realize he probably just use me to get back at her which is bad but all I could think about was him I was selfish I omit that I dated him to audri but I love him and he loves me but audri found out we were dating she was mad I get that she said I didn’t understand but I did understand what did she not think when she and him start dating I felt mad and heartbroken and jealous cause we didn’t work out but that day I felt like I lost 2 of the most important people in the world and I fell apart not knowing what to think or do but skip to present time me and audri our relationship is putting back together but john moving schools I wish I could see him at school and be friends but not a girlfriend or boyfriend kind of thing a just a friend thing and this is why I should say love can be a rollercoaster I went through a lot of things from the time this started and the time this ended and I don’t think anything else could happen to me and for me to react cause I’m already fallen apart