3am Thoughts

Its amazing how something you love can cause so much sadness. So much confusion within yourself. Its like you wake up and its on your mind, but you know it doesnt need you. You wanna let go, but you know the love is there and the power to grow is there. I unlock my phone and type paragraphs trying to express myself, then find myself deleting it. People close to me tend to ask how things are going, and im forced to lie and say "im good, imma get through it", thats not true, as we gave up on each other awhile ago. Some nights im thinking "Am i good enough?" Or even "If i get another chance will i blow it again". Questions i know the answer too, but choose to ignore the solution. Why? I dont know. Maybe im not ready to commit yet. Maybe the love isnt how strong i thought it was. But on the flipside, maybe everything i just said is irrelevant. I may end up writing this book after all...