Life Experiences

How to Deal with People in Simple Ways

A few days ago, a friend of mine asked me, "I want to ask you a question. Will you please tell me how to deal with people?". Well, actually I did not know how to answer that -- I still in progress to learn that, besides he is better than me in social things. He could get along with older people, younger people, and people of the same age as him. He talks better compare to me. Well, because of that I questioned that to myself. It is such a simple question with such a complex answer.
There are some books which have talked about something like this before. Well, humans are unique creature and complex enough to deal with. There are many things that we have to do when we do interaction with another human but in here, I try to make it simply on my own way.
From my point of view, everyone wants to feel understood. To make it happens, we do not only listen to them but also ask them. For example, if a friend tells you a story, try to listen to and pay attention to them. Try to think what would make them comfortable around you and what they want you to do. Just try imagine, "if I were in their position, what would I want to be treated? If I do this thing, will it makes their feelings better?". In addition, try to ask something that could relate to their story.
The next thing you should do is try to understand them and do not judge. Try to figure it out why they do what they do and accept them for who they are. Well, everyone has different backgrounds, belief, experiences, problems and what they have been going through -- that we cannot see it directly.
The last one is try to appreciate and praise what people have done when you see it as something nice. Do not keep it to yourself but tell them. I believe everyone has done their best to do everything in their life. We do not know what things they have sacrified to do what they can and hope for the best results.
In conclusion, I admit that our life is not only for us but also for other people. We have to ask ourselves, "What could I give to other people?" rather than asking "What could I gain from this?".