Peridot's Boxers

"Peridot! Come down here!" Lapis called to her barnmate.

Peridot came rushing to the lower floor. "What is it?"

"I think I've figured out the purpose of... these!" She lifted up Peridot's pair of boxers, covered with green alien faces.

"Really?" Peridot was excited. The boxers were a mystery to them for so long! "What is it, then?"

"Well, you have to put them on first." Lapis handed Peridot the pair.

Peridot complied. "OK, OK, now what?"

"Well..." Lapis moved behind Peridot, "remember those things that the girls in Camp Pining Hearts get all the time, you know, wedgies?"

"Yeah," Peridot responded, nodding. "What about them?"

Lapis grabbed the back of the boxers. "That's the purpose of these things!" She hoisted them high up in the air, giving Peridot a huge wedgie!

Peridot screamed as she was immediately lifted into the air, trying to squirm and kick her way out! "Acck... b-but this is so painful! Why would they make it, then??"

"Maybe it's how humans fight?" Lapis pondered as she walked them outside, bouncing Peridot with every step. "While painful, it's rather harmless in the long run."

"Nnnngh... I-I guess so," Peridot conceded.

"Also, the way you win the fights is rather straight forward," Lapis continued as she bounced Peridot near the flagpole.

Peridot's eyes went wide. "Oh no no no no no, I've seen what happens next, you don't have to do this to me!"

Lapis smirked. "But I do~"

"W-wait a minute..." Peridot thought out loud as Lapis hooked her boxers up, "...this isn't for research, is it??"

"Took ya a while to figure out, huh?" Lapis responded, smiling devilishly as she pulled on the rope, sending Peridot higher and higher up in a flagpole wedgie!

Peridot screamed and squirmed, demanding to be released from this prank, but Lapis only laughed as she got the green gem all the way up. She walked away, ready to binge more Camp Pining Hearts as Peridot hung for however long Lapis felt like.

Lapis felt like it should be a rather long time.