The Blasphemer!

“It isn’t funny! laugh again It’s you overboard.”

“I have a life vest.”

“I’ll puncture it.”

“I’ll puncture you.”

“Okay, I’m already punctured. Can we get it out?”

“Yes dear.”

“Don’t ‘Yes Dear’ me, that’s my line.”

“What do I do? I’ve got your shorts cut away and I can see the hook sticking out of your . . . “

“My ass.”

“Yeah . . . You know I’ve never really studied you from this aspect before . . .”

“Overboard if you laugh. Can you see the barb?”

“Barb?”

“The pointy end.”

“No, just the one with the eye.”

“Ohh, shit! Okay, I want you to grab the eye end and twist until the barb pops out... HOLY SHIT . . . that hurt. Warn me next time.”

“It’ll hurt more if you know. It’s been proven.”

“By who?”

“You really want to know right now?”

“No. Do you know what diagonal cutters are?”

“Wire cutters?”

“Yeah, get the ones with red handles.”

“Okay, now what?”

“Cut the barb off. Put the cutters around it and squeeze har . . . HOLY DAMNED SHIT THAT HURT!

“Yelling at me doesn’t help.”

“Oh yes it does. Sorry, I wasn’t yelling at you, just yelling.”

“Now what?”

“Another twist, I want you to twist as far inn as you can then put that salve all over it and twist it out. Maybe I won’t get ass rot and become famous. I’d hate to be Know for ‘Ass Rot.’”

“Get ready . . . here we go . . . now!”

“YEEEEOOWWWW . . . okay, you’re right, it did hurt more, I tensed up. Thank you dear and I didn’t have to throw you overboard.”

“There’s more hooks lying around.”

“Uuhhh, Okay. Truce?”

“Yeah, truce. I love you, Ian. How Did you get a hook in your ass?”

“That’s the answer I want so I never do it again.”

“Maybe quit fishing?”

“Blasphemer! Such foul . . . “