Grief and how to move on...

Late last year everything in my life spiraled. I had been at a friend’s twentieth birthday party, chunking down a beer just as all my peers, dancing the night away, truly living in the moment. Having the time of my life, when a life-changing moment occurred. Maybe you’ve had them too? Those moments where life realizes that everything is going quite perfectly, and then decides to throw you a curve ball, just as an excuse to see how you’ll manage to go through it? This one was definitely IT. And not to mention, a major one as well.
I was at the party with a guy I had just started dating a few months prior. David. An athletic looking baseball player, who was always a gentleman to me. Opening doors and holding them ‘till I walked in, always finding a way to make me laugh and forcing me to be a goofball just like him. He was always trying to be considerate when I needed him to and comforting me when I felt down. His eyes were as blue as the sea, and you could easily get lost in them. I did many times, and each time felt like it lasted forever. He was also the type of guy who just owned that characteristic smile, where he could light up any room, just by being there. His sometimes childlike demeanor only meant he was brilliant among kids and brought laughs to the world. Clean children’s laughter you could hear coming down from their belly’s darkest corners. To put it simply: He was absolutely amazing. A truly beautiful soul with a gigantic heart and a love so strong, you’d think we’d been together for years. He’d been the love of my life. And I know what you’re thinking. But you’ve only known each other for a couple of months!
Let me tell you a little secret: It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone. If you know, you know. And I knew it deep in my heart.
I knew it when I first saw him but admittedly was too scared to let my guards down at first. But as you might suspect, I eventually did. It was the greatest decision of my life.
Unfortunately, he did not live to tell the tale. He died that night. Just minutes before the arrival of a new day. Safe to say, it left me shattered…