What Does Youfamis—Something Mean?

“Grampa, What does youfamis—something mean?”

“What, Alex? Oh, that’s a big word for a first grader, where’d you hear that?”

“Danny said that’s what I was saying.”

“What were you saying, sweetheart?”

“There was dog doo-doo on the playground and he said that was — one of those for a word I’m not supposed to use.”

“I know the word and you shouldn’t use it. Danny shouldn’t either. Actually, adults shouldn’t, but we do and you guys hear it. I’m guilty of it and I’m sorry, it confuses you. I’ll try harder to not say that or others.”

“Okay. But what does youfam — something mean?

“The word is Euphemism and it means using another word to mean the same thing.”

“Why would you do that? Do you use other words instead of my name? I’m Alex, not dog doo-doo. I don’t want to be called that.”

“Sweetheart, no one would call you that. We love our Alex.”

“Danny did, he said I was stinky dog doo-doo and I didn’t like it.”

“Well, Danny needs to watch his mouth. You are not that. He’s just trying to make you angry.”

“Can you tell him that?”

“I’ll go to school with you tomorrow and do that. Then I’ll find out who his parents are and tell them.”

“He doesn’t have a mommy or daddy.”

“Why not, sweetheart?”

“They died in a car accident. He lives with his aunt Sylvia. I feel sorry for him.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll take him for an ice cream and I’ll ask him not to do that.”

“Can we have super-duper chocolate berries? Please, please.”

“You can have whatever you want.”

“I love you grampa.”

“And I love you, Alex. You’re a wonderful young woman.”