My Evil Twin

It wasn't me, it couldn't have been
It must have been my evil twin
She looks like me, wouldn't you know
but the things she does fill me with woe!

For I would never drink milk from the jug
with a chug-chug-chug-a-lug
And I would never bounce my ball
and knock down pictures in the hall.

I wouldn't snitch a cookie from the jar
or hide mom's keys to the car
I would never pinch my sister
I don't know where she got that blister.

I wouldn't feed my veggies to the dog
or water plants with your eggnog.
I would never dye the cat
though blue fur looks cool like that.

My brother's finger is not a carrot
that bite mark must have been a parrot.
"Where's the parrot," you ask me?
Catch my evil twin, you'll see.

I really couldn't tell you why
My brother ate that mud pie.
And I don't think we'll ever know
what happened to the cookie dough.

I wish I could help, I really do
But I really haven't got a clue.
It wasn't me. It couldn't have been.
It must have been my evil twin.