When I Was Me

Chapter 1

This wasn't the first time he had been slapped by a prostitute for calling her a vulgar name, but it certainly was his last. The very nanosecond the palm of Joan Freeman's left hand violently struck the flesh of his right cheek his head exploded like a watermelon dropped on a concrete floor. Just as violently, the exploding parts of his brain sprayed on to her young face and into her mouth causing her to vomit.
There was no gunfire sound, just the echo of the slap and the crashing of trash cans she fell against when his body slammed into her knocking her to the ground. There was no muzzle flash just the light inside her head when it hit the sidewalk.

The dead weight of his large body pinned her torso and right arm to the ground. She couldn't get the vomit out of her throat and she was choking. The left side of his head was completely blown away and the open wound was rubbing against her face. She began to panic. Desperately she shoved as hard as she could to get him off her but couldn't budge him. After several attempts her strength was beginning to fade. She was feeling faint and thought she would pass out. Full panic had begun to grip her when finally, his body moved just enough to free her arm. She knew this might be her last chance for survival so with an all or nothing effort she pushed; one leg came free, then the other and she rolled as far away from him as she could.
Propped up on her elbows she began to cough and spit to clear her throat but is seemed like she would never be able to breathe normal again. Gasping for air only intensified the pungent odor of the blood and flesh on her face. She vomited again. When the vomit hit the pavement, it splashed back up on her face. She vomited again, and everything went dark.

After what seemed like an hour the sounds of sirens jolted her back. She still had no idea what had really happened. All of the what's, how's and whys were racing through her mind like the starship USS Enterprise at mach 8 speed. Slowly she became aware of people around her, talking to her, asking questions. She could see their mouths moving but couldn't understand what they were saying. There were also 5 or 6 people between her and the man's body, holding up blankets so she couldn't see him.

A small, older Asian woman came walking toward her carrying what looked like a basin of water and some towels draped over her left arm. Her long, straight hair was pulled back and tied at the back of her head with a dark green ribbon. It swung back and forth as she walked.

As she got closer the other people moved away. She squatted down in front of Joan and said, "Let me help you clean up some." She had an accent that Joan didn't recognize; it sounded kind of like Chinese but, not really. "You just sit there and get your thoughts together. I'm sure everything is going to be alright soon." Joan couldn't respond so she nodded her consent.

The woman dampened a towel and began to gently wipe Joan's face. The water was warm and felt good on her skin. "There you go now", she said. "Don't you just feel better already? My, my you have such a pretty face. You just lean back some now and let me rinse out that beautiful red hair."

After a few minutes the old woman said, "Oh, by the way my name is Hiloko. What's your name honey? I'm sure it must be as pretty as you are." When she saw Joan still couldn't respond she continued, "Now let me guess. I'm thinking it must be quite mystical and beautiful to match that pretty face... something like Serena or Esperanza or maybe Fadera. Is that it? Is your name Fadera?

As she was speaking Hiloko took a bottle of water from her bag, showed it to Joan and said, "Here, why don't you rinse out your mouth some and tell me if your pretty name is Fadera, or just what. That's it", she said as she raised the bottle to Joans lips, "just take a little in your mouth, rinse it around and spit it out. Don't drink it yet. We will do that a little later. For now, just rinse and spit. That's a good girl, rinse and spit."

Joan could feel the cool water in her mouth. As she rinsed it around and spit it out she could see how red it was and could feel some of the splatter go out with it. She rinsed and spit again and again until she started to feel better. Once she saw the spit was clear water she wanted to drink some but listened when Hiloko told her not to.

"Joan," she said horsley. "My name is Joan."

"Of course it is", Hiloko said smiling, "Just like Joan of Arc. A perfect name for you and I am very glad to meet you. Do you live near here Joan of Arc? Maybe we are neighbors and don't even know it. Wouldn't that be something if we are neighbors?"

Joan hesitated. Her well - earned suspicious mind made her wonder why in the hell this old woman was asking so many questions? I've never seen her before, she thought. I've spent a lot of time on this corner over the last 2 years and never once saw her anywhere near here. But she must live near because the water in the bowl is warm. Even the towels were really warm, like they just came out of a dryer. I wonder what she wants?

Hiloko was smiling, patiently waiting for an answer.

"No," Joan finally said. "I don't live around here. I'm just visiting a friend. I was out for a walk and that guy, she nodded towards the people holding up the blankets, asked directions to a phone; said his car was broken down. That's all I know. What happened to him anyways? Is he gonna to be okay? I think he must have been sick cause he just all of a sudden puked on me and then passed out and fell on me. Is he okay?"

Hiloko looked down, avoiding Joan's eyes. "No, I don't think he is okay honey" is all she said.

Getting tired of the evasiveness Joan bluntly asked, "What the hell does that mean?"

Hiloko was still looking down. She rubbed her hands together and inspected her nails. Finally, she said, "Do you know his name Joan?"

"No" she stuttered out. "I told you his car broke down and he was just asking directions. I never seen him before just now. Why, who is he?"

Hiloko looked up, directly into Joans' eyes. "He is Arthur Judson she said. He is the Lieutenant - Governor of the state and he has been shot dead."

Joan felt the blood rush out of her head and she felt like she was going to faint. Just when she thought to herself "I'll bet I am in big trouble now" she started coughing and vomited again.

Hiloko just stayed squatting there quietly waiting and when Joan had finished vomiting, she reached over to wipe her face with another damp cloth.

Joan pulled back, looked at her and asked, "Just who are you anyway, and why are you so damn concerned with helping me? Do you really live near here? Why are the police here anyway?"

Hiloko didn't even blink. Again, she stared directly into Joan's eyes and calmly said, "I told you my name is Hiloko and I could see you were in need of help; so, I came. The police are here because a man has been shot dead and somehow you are involved. I am sure they will be coming to talk with you very soon. Did you hear me tell you who the dead man is?"

Joan thought for a second. "Oh, yeah, I heard you. But how do I know for sure he's who you say he is? I mean, I don't know what the Lt. Governors name is. Even if I do it aint gonna matter any cause I don't know what he looks like. Like I told you before, that guy just stopped me to ask directions. That is all I know."

Hiloko stood up and offered her hand to help Joan. When Joan stood, she was surprised to see all the blood on the front of her blouse and skirt. She tried to wipe it off, but it was thick and sticky. After a couple of tries she realized it was more than just blood, it was bits of flesh and bone also. She felt she was going to vomit again but managed to hold her breath and swallow to stop it.

Hiloko picked up the bowl, dumped out the remaining water, folded the towels into the bowl and turned to walk away. Joan reached out and grabbed her shoulder. When she turned back around Joan said, "Thanks for your help. I didn't know how bad things are. I apologize if I was rude."

Hiloko smiled, bowed a slight nod and said, "The police are coming now to talk to you. Just be honest like you were with me and everything will be just fine. You will see." Then she turned and walked away without looking back.