What if?

Life couldn’t always have been this complex
I remember a time when life was simple and enjoyable
Now with every good comes a bad thought
I’m not sure if the thoughts are reality or if they are just my mental health playing a cruel joke
Or one better what if there was a time when I had nothing but the best intentions
To do things, say thing and know whole heartedly that they were going to go perfectly.
Do I will negativity? Is that why it finds me so easily?
There are so many variables that go into good situations happening
It seems like no matter the answer I plug into the equation the outcomes negative
How much power does will hold?
How much weight does optimism hold?
Does a terminal cancer patient get better because they will it? Or is it science?
Does someone with a 95% survival rate of cancer die from cancer because the disease or because they’ve lost their will to live?
Have I traveled so far of my chosen path I will never survive it?
Or have I simply chosen the harder more complex path that will conclusively lead to the same finish line?
How does one change their thought process when a chemical imbalance makes it damn near impossible.
Well I guess the key is “damn near”
Right?
That’s how life works, nothing definitive.
That’s that magic of a higher power.
So maybe this pessimistic attitude I’ve let consume me has taken enough joy and happiness to last me a life time.
Maybe if I have a strong positive outlook things will change.
Maybe if I only allow positivity in my vision and life I can bombard the negativity away.
That does sound naive doesn’t it?
Maybe it does. Maybe I sounds insane.
But if one drop of dye can change and entire glass of water.
Why can’t one positive thought manifest and change an entire outlook.
An entire life.