Anxiety

I can't take it anymore
The fear, the worry, the tears,
What I would give to be my old self,
Before the worry, before the panic, before the anxiety,
I miss doing what I used to.
The rides, the danger, the thrill.
It doesn't exist to me anymore.
The shakiness, the rapid breathing, the sweats, I can't do this anymore,
The meds don't help, the calming techniques does nothing,
Where is my outgoing self?
No where to be found, replaced with a shy person who mind's race.
Do they like me? Did I say something stupid? Should I have said what I just did?
I can't take this anymore.
I can't have fun with family, I can't say what's wrong cause I don't know.
Who am I? Now I don't know. Nothing excites me anymore. I have no control of my mind and thoughts,
Only thing that helps is sleep.
I fight it and fight it but ultimately it wins. What am I to do? As I sit here and remember who I was, the one that loved excitement, the thrill, the danger, and people I wonder if that part died or just in hiding. Anxiety scared her away and she refuses to come out.
Go away anxiety no one wants you here.
I want out of this black hole, out of this dump and back to who I used to be.