The standstill to restart

She never thought she’d be at the top of Primrose Hill at 11 pm contemplating her life. They say it’s in your final moments that your world slows down before it comes to a standstill. In those moments, her fast-paced life that she thought was regular and boring, suddenly became more eventful than any movie that she ever watched.

Did you ever realise you did all of that? Did you ever stop, look back at your wrongdoings and use it to make the rest of your life right? That’s what she asked herself at the top of Primrose Hill at 11:02 pm contemplating her life. And her answers were no. She looked back and realised she’d wasted most of it. She wasted her seconds, minutes and hours trying to ensure the happiness of others but forgot herself. She wasted her days, weeks and years doing meaningless acts with no significant end. Most means have a significant end but for some reason none of hers did.

In her final moments she realised the impact she could have had on the world but she didn’t and she wouldn’t now. In her final minutes what could she really do, at the top of Primrose Hill at 11:05pm contemplating her life?

At this point all she had were her thoughts and she never realised how scary her thoughts really were, since she was always busy running away from them. Every single one of her thoughts taunted her making her wish she would slip away faster. It got to the point where she began to ignore it all and closed her eyes. She could feel that the end for her was coming closer and closer, death stepping forward and life stepping back.

Then she heard a noise faintly in the distance, a familiar noise, but not one she could recognise in the moment, because of her weak state. Her mind was fighting her to open her eyes and she was fighting to keep them closed, but mind over matter so they began to flutter. Brief flashes of blue light were all she could take in.

“We found her but she’s bleeding quite heavily and she’s in and out of consciousness” a paramedic bellowed into the radio. They carefully hurried her into the ambulance and began all they could do to prevent losing her. And they did. A second chance. A retake for the exam that is life itself.

Fast-forward 20 years later. She’s back on Primrose hill at 11pm contemplating life, as she had done 2 decades before however this time is different. This time she sees nothing but positivity. She can see all the opportunities she took. She can see all the seconds, minutes and hours she used productively. Her past regrets replaced with happy memories replaying in her mind to usher her peacefully into the life of the grave.

She hears a siren faintly in the distance and flashes of blue light surround the area, once again.

“We found her but she’s gone” a paramedic whispered into the radio.