Dear Me

Dear Me,

It’s another year, as you know, and I’ve compiled a new bunch of goals for you to accomplish. Please stick with them this time, as the last list made a lousy cat box liner. I’m serious, and I wish you would be too.

First off, I know you don’t want to hear it, but you really must finish rewriting your novel and publish it. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that you really didn’t want to succeed. It’s not as difficult as you think. Separate the chapters into scenes, decide which ones are important, and cut the ones that aren’t. Rewrite the rest of them.

Next, would it kill you to get up early once in a while? All this sleeping until ten or eleven has gotten out of hand. You’re wasting valuable writing time with all this resting nonsense.

Drink water. You’re going to kill yourself with all that Diet Mountain Dew. You know that people on your mother’s side tend to die young, right? Don’t tempt fate. Take better care of yourself. Eight glasses a day, you know the routine.

Read. Read everything...read the Bible. Read every piece of great and terrible fiction that crosses your path. Think about everything you read. Digest it, mull it over, swish it around and breath in the floral bouquet of every pretty word. Strive for fifty-two books this year. One a week.

Furthermore, you have too many hobbies. I know you love to crochet, make soap, play the mandolin, and build musical instruments, but dear Lord, you don’t have time for all of that. Your life and your home are a cluttered mess of things that there’s never enough time to do anything with. Choose wisely, scale back, embrace minimalism.

Make memories with your kids. Your mom’s been gone for four months now. She died at sixty-one. Though you may not have had enough time to make as many memories with her as you wanted, you have your kids. Love the hell out of them while you can. Be silly. Dance with them in the grocery store. Sing terrible karaoke in the living room. Take trips. Invest in memories, not things.

And finally, take it easy on yourself, huh? Don’t let everything bother you. Relax, embrace spontaneity, and just have fun sometimes, will ya?

Yours truly,

Me


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