Overthinking

A wise philosopher by the name of Tina Fey once advised, “You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the water slide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.” This quote stuck out to me for a few reasons. The main reason was because I had been half procrastinating/ half overthinking writing this since it was assigned. After trying to find inspiration from every Hot Chelle Rae, Taylor Swift, and Kanye West song in existence, and coming up short, I realized I was wasting my time. Which leads me to my second reason for choosing this quote- like many of you, I believe that overthinking can become detrimental.
One foggy April day in 2012, my sister Devin and I went to go pick our little sister up from the bus stop at the bottom of the street. We live on a quiet cul-de-sac that has a total of 10 houses, so I got a little nervous when I saw a mysterious, unknown black sedan parked across the street from our house. But, nonetheless, Devin and I continued our journey. Once we were at the bus stop, we got into an argument. I don’t remember what it was about, but I do remember being so angry, that I crossed over to the other side of the street so I wouldn’t be forced to stand next to her. She must have gotten lonely because she eventually apologized. I accepted her apology, and began to make my way back over to her side of the street when I saw that menacing black car drive toward us, and come to a halt about 20 feet away. Then the 30 something year old bald driver made direct eye contact with me, and motioned for me to go over to him. I froze for a few second before mustering up every ounce of my courage to scream, “DEVIN HE’S TRYING TO KIDNAP US!” We both ran into the woods, and started sobbing. When we heard Naomi’s bus pull up, we cautiously stepped out of the woods to get her. She hopped off bus 218, and her look of youthful contentment turned to horror when she saw my tear soaked face and convulsing shoulders.
“Naomi! Run! Or we’re gonna be kidnapped!” I screamed, already taking off. Naomi began to cry as well, and we all ran home.
I later found out from my mom that the man in the black car was my neighbor’s new boyfriend. He had seen me trying to cross the street to get to Devin, so he stopped and motioned for me to cross. I had never learned that particular hand gesture, and thought it was him trying to lure me into his car. He tried to apologize to me for the clear misunderstanding, but I had run into the woods before he could, so he drove away.
I should’ve stopped thinking about this incident as soon as I found out that I was wrong. But I didn’t. I kept analyzing and reanalyzing and rereanalyzing the whole situation, looking for possible loopholes in this man’s side of the story. After days of overthinking, I had convinced myself that what he had told my mom on the phone was a cover up. He was trying to kidnap me. And if I wasn’t careful, he was gonna try again. I lived the next few weeks in fear. Weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Not only was I scared of the bald man kidnapping me, but I was scared of anyone and everyone trying to kidnap me. I started saying “I love you” to each family member and pet before leaving the house because each time I left I was convinced that I wouldn’t make it home to see any of them again. I even vividly remember hiding behind a clothes rack in Macy’s because a bald man was walking by.
When 2014 rolled around and my paranoia was still in tact, my parents finally decided to get me counseling. They wouldn’t let me attend high school with this irrational fear of being kidnapped by bald men. Although the counseling didn’t really help, I was fortunately able to eventually outgrow my excruciating fear,that was all caused by my overthinking.
Now, with our high school careers coming to a close, we are all being faced with some big decisions, like where to go to college, and what to major in. Soon after that, we’ll be deciding where to work, where to live, who to marry, how many kids we want, what houses we can afford, and more. With all these huge life decisions standing between us and the rest of our lives, it becomes easy to feel overwhelmed. Fear is beginning to set in, as the lives we’re living now are being traded with the ominous future. But overthinking is the worst thing we can do in this situation. It won’t help us, it will just confuse us further. Once we learn to embrace that the future isn’t a destination, but a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns, we will finally be at peace with our minds.