The Ditch and the Pitch-In

Prompt phrases:
Love Actually
Elf
It's a Wonderful Life
Home Alone
Die Hard
Miracle on 34th Street

"Listen, stop telling me it's Love Actually. I'm sick of hearing it's love, actually that makes her do this. In what way is she showing me love by annoying the heck out of me?"

"Come on! She's working her butt off for your show. It's almost like you are Santa and she's an Elf. Even a grumpy person like you has to admit It's a Wonderful Life with friends like her!"

"A grumpy person? I'm a grumpy person? Listen, we have to get the costumes stitched for this show. The show is coming up on January 12, for goodness' sake and for crying out loud. She promised she'd take me to her tailor. She promised she'd let me know when the tailor is free. I've waited three whole days, no call, so I called her, and she coos - 'honey, I've started a new job and I'm hectic here, I can't help now.' In what way precisely am I having a wonderful life? Three precious days gone by waiting for her! She should've phoned about the new job and ditching me!"

"At least she offered to help. Nobody else did."

"She offered to help because she always wants to poke her nose. Then she ditched. Old habits Die Hard, you know. She's been a nose-poker and ditcher since Kindergarten. I should've known better than to wait. Now we need to find another tailor. Looking for a Miracle on 34th Street."

"Listen, maybe I can help. You know my aunt Punam?"

"What about her?"

"She's pretty good with a sewing machine. And she's Home Alone these days with her son having taken his new wife and step-kids to Darjeeling on vacation. I think she'll be glad to sew these up for you."

"Do you mean that? Really truly?"

"We could ask."

"My goodness, that would solve some problems! Then I'll only have the problem of rehearsal space left to tackle."

"Rehearsal space?"

"Yeah, we were supposed to rehearse in the nursery school next to my house. All convenient and fixed up, they don't need the space during vacation. Then suddenly the management decided it's a good time to get the whole place renovated and painted and whatever, so we've been booted out. Now I've got this show coming and the costumes and the space all in a disarray and you tell me I'm a grumpy person."

"I'm sorry I said you're a grumpy person. But you should be grateful when someone offers to help."

"I can't be grateful if the offer ends in a ditch and wasting three precious days on an already tight schedule. Would've been better she hadn't offered."

"I meant me."

"You what?"

"I've offered to help you by taking you to meet my aunt Punam and finding out if she'll do your costumes. Now say 'thank you' to me."

"Thank you."

"When did we get so formal that you had to thank me for something?"

"But you said -- oh my goodness, there you got me laughing. It's an old habit of yours to make me laugh when I'm at my most mad, isn't it? Come on, let's go meet your aunt Punam."

(Two hours later)

"There. Now say it's a wonderful life."

"It's a wonderful life."

"And say why."

"It's a wonderful life because your aunt Punam seems to be my new elf. She's home alone and welcoming company, so she is going to sew my costumes and give us her big hall for our rehearsals. She's not even taking any rent or any money for the costumes -- because when I asked her what her payment was, she said it wasn't money, it was love, actually. Looks like I've found my miracle on 34th street. But -- old habits die hard."

"What old habits?"

"My old habit of being a grumpy person. May I just 'grump' one last time?"

"What do you want to GRUMP about now? I thought all your problems were solved."

"Yeah, but your aunt is such a good cook, and if she feeds us like that each rehearsal, none of the costumes are going to fit anyone ... "