Inspired by my book: "Me and My Black Dog". |
I wish my father hadn't abandoned me at the age of two. I wish my mum and I had never met my stepfather (The Obeah Man). I wish my brother was still alive. I wish that I'd been there for him by his side on the day that he died. I wish I hadn't joined the god damned army. I wish I had never heard of the Falkland Islands. I wish I had never gone to war. I wish that I had never fired my gun in anger. I wish that there is no such thing as a body bag. I wish my dead comrades could still be by my side. I wish I could have brought them home. Alive. I wish that I could have truly loved the woman I married. I wish I could have been a happy and love father to my children. I wish I could walk down the street without feeling threatened. I wish that I wasn't so angry. I wish I was deaf to the sound the annoy me. I wish I was blind to the images that remined me. I wish I could get the voices of the dead out of my head. I wish that I could be happy for just one day. I wish I could smile more. I wish I could sleep for more than three hours a night. I wish I didn't have nightmares where I end up in a fight. I wish I could feel good about myself. Just once before I die. I wish. |