To Be or to Zombie?

I've always felt dead inside. Ok, maybe not always but most of the time. Sometimes I think zombies aren't really corpses brought back to life. They are humans living with the life sucked out of them. They just go thru the motions, no emotions. But are the emotions gone? Or just hidden? Will I explode into a Super Nova if I allow myself to feel? I worry I will. I worry that all those feelings I have hidden for so long will all come tumbling out and I will feel without end amen. I will feel too much.
Love is there. Love is the steady hum beneath it all. The one thing I allow in, barely. But it is the one thing I cannot prevent. I can ignore all else but love. I can hide it though. Sometimes I must or I will be crushed from the inside out. Where do I go from here?