Sweet Sixteen

woke to my mother screaming out,
"she's dead, she's dead" coming out of her mouth,
rushing from my room to see her unmoving with her head on her pillow and her feet on the ground.

father pushing on her chest for air,
but hope was retreating.
laying with her face covered by her hair,
her life was already leaving.

mother screaming for God,
my mind hoping it's a facade,
with my phone to my ear telling 911 that something here is seriously flawed.

mother watched in the ambulance as they continued compressions,
they weren't ready to give up or go.
but she could see their expressions,
and later said she knew it was for show.

sitting in a tight room,
with my whole family draped in gloom,
hoping that doctor doesn't come in carrying our inevitable doom.

he's almost composed,
but you can still see it in his face.
my parents eyes are closed,
she wont be leaving this place.

tears dropping down during our goodbyes,
standing in the dissection room where she lies,
looking at those lids closed and mourning that i'll never again see those eyes.

the funeral happens so fast,
from the ambulance to ash.
the amount of people attending was vast,
but they would all be gone in a flash.

sometimes I still stare into space,
trying to look for any, single trace,
that shows that she never actually left this place.

i think i'll wake up one day,
and she'll be sitting there annoyed since i've kept her waiting.
i'll tell her it took so long because i didn't know the way,
then she'll just roll her eyes and say i'm irritating.

this tragedy occurred the day before my 16th year on earth,
i was sobbing rather than celebrating my birth,
explaining to any god that would listen that yes, she was sick but look how much she was worth.

i'll never forget the day she took her leave,
right next to the day i arrived.
but i like to think with her last breaths she would believe,
that she was happy about all the days she survived.

written (as the original was) loosely to the beat of "Danger Starts" by K.Flay


Background:
My sister had brain cancer almost her entire life (found out at 7 years old) and she had a tough life because of it. Her death was very sudden. She would have been 22. We later found out that it was an aneurysm and that they were surprised she hadn't passed sooner due to how terrible her brain looked, unbeknownst to us.