Second Chance

I was finishing my cig and noticed the sunrise,
A calmness came over me, things will get better,
I asked God for forgiveness, that's what I was told I needed to do,
So now I will wait,
Patiently wait to hear back from the almighty.

I close my eyes and run my hand over my face,
A deep sigh accompanies the anxiety.
Do I deserve forgiveness?
What about all I have done,
The people I hurt,
Maybe he wont hear me out.

My chest is heavy and my sadness is something else,
I don't know how long I can go on,
to live this way,
hating myself.

I scream at the top of my lungs,
asking God to please answer me,
or give me a sign.
Maybe I'm not worth it,
Am I wasting your time?

I pull out my gun and stair at the barrel,
I don't remember much after that,
The rest is hazy.
One minute I was ready to end everything
and the next I was in the hospital.

They say I was lucky to be alive.

A bullet made it's way through without piercing my skull.
It's like I have a second chance at life,
It's a miracle.