Random Thoughts

"You wouldn't miss me would you?" The statement of realization. The product of a series of clicks in her mind. Images of clues to further prove his abandonment of the relationship. She reaches for the doorknob, turns and exits without a single look in his direction, as if his appearance would entrance her to stay. As she gets inside of her car, the abrupt deafening sound resonated from within the house and her soul. Too afraid to look inside but not wanting to lose the fading connection, she sat inside the darkness of her car until the reality became lost inside a flurry of the thoughts too fast to catch. She sat and stayed there emotionless and gray-faced, even after blaring sirens were heard closing in. Even after the police attempted to question her. And even after she sat for hours in the empty hospital room waiting for nothing to happen. Her mind was a juxtaposition to her outward appearance. Too many memories, thoughts, and emotions overloaded her brain, and the relentless fight for control led to the lack of. And while her mind was in a whirlwind, she appeared as if she was an empty husk.
From then on she lived her life on a checklist. Wake, eat, drink, sleep. Those were her requirements to live and her body fulfilled those requirements. Making sure the body she could possibly come back to wasn't as broken as she was.