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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #2160984
A tongue-in-cheek take on Creation. (A contest entry)
Groundbreaking Original Designs, Inc.


Everyone was waiting for me, and as soon as I stepped into the corridor, I could sense a hint of dread, though, honestly, I was still half asleep. A warm cup of joe in my hand, and still with my robe and fuzziest slippers, it was good to be back. I’d been asleep for over two millennia, and expected a bit of slack, that’s for sure. After all, I was the guy in charge, the big kahuna. And, it’s good to be the king.

I sure didn’t expect the uncertain looks, the manufactured grins, as I strolled down the corridor. “Hey Mary!” I greeted warmly and she smirked nervously. “Zeke! How are things?” He barely returned the high-five. Something was up.

Entering the conference room, all eyes turned to me and the nervous banter lulled to a suppressed whisper. “Hey everybody! It’s great to see you again!” I raised my mug with a drowsy grin and took a seat at the end of the table. Our view all around looked down upon the Earth. It was as beautiful as ever. “Seems like millennia,” I chuckled but no one even responded. So, I set my cup down with a yawn and cleared my eyes. “Where’re we at? And where’s my kid?” I asked, confused.

Silence.

Scanning the room, they silently stared back. “What’s with all the long faces? Adam, you’re my number one guy, right? Gimme the run-down?”

“Um, things have…gone a bit south, since you left.”

“Like?” I took a generally disinterested sip. At least the coffee had improved.

Another pause. It was clear they needed some inspiration.

“C’mon guys. We’ve got a kingdom to run here. I mean, Groundbreaking Original Designs, Inc. didn’t spend an eternity on this project just to create a team with blanks stares and no answers. This is a business. What, you afraid I might smite you or something?” I snickered then perused the room anxiously, before asking again, “Where is he?”

Still, no one answered.

Summoning his courage, Adam rose and swallowed anxiously. “The population has…exceeded our original design. It took them a while, but during your, uh, sabbatical, they basically decided on a bit of their own free will.” He enlarged a virtual schematic. “The first few centuries, they warred with each other, just like normal, and it kept them relatively disinterested…suppressed their curiosity and restrained their numbers.”

“That was the plan,” I reminded them – control their growth. “We had enough challenges to restrain them, while still encouraging reproduction. And our customer in Dimension Omega was happy with our product.”

“Well, you left…”

“I know, I know,” I admitted. “But I needed a breather. Hadn’t slept since the whole project began, you know.”

Adam enlarged another schematic. “Recently, we’ve had a spike. And despite new diseases to cull the population, they’re reproducing faster than our models, intelligence and discovery rates surging. They’ll soon overrun the planet and begin to escape.”

“Seriously?”

“We even tossed a few genocidal lunatics into the mix, finally hiring our main competitor…

“You kiddin’?" I interrupted. "Their CEO’s the devil! A backstabber! Did it ever occur to you, that asshat may be the cause of all this?”

“Um, no,” he grimaced. “Anyways, it wasn’t enough.”

“Meaning?” I asked.

“They’ve harnessed atomic energy and are on the verge of discovering the nature of matter. It won’t be long before their particle accelerator technology…”

“Are you shittin’ me right now?” I interrupted, leaning forward in my chair, annoyed.

Everyone froze.

“So, let me get this straight. We, or I, set up the perfect system – spent a friggen eternity; forever to build the right environments, create the physical laws, just to grow a suitable sentient race to harvest for pure essences. Now, you’re telling me someone left the door open and they’re about figure out the secret recipe?”

They fidgeted.

“Jesus, I’m not gonna ask again! Where the hell is my son? He was supposed to be in charge!” Still, no one answered. “Well?!” my fingers dug into the glass tabletop and it shattered. “Listen, I’m about to unleash some fire and brimstone if I don’t like what I hear, bring this whole damn show to an end and start over!”

Mary stepped hesitantly forward, wiping the sweat from her brow. “They, uh, crucified him. Since then, he’s been...doing his own thing.”

“Well, shit.” I leaned in. “Time for an apocalypse! Let’s wipe the slate clean!” Then reconsidering, I sipped the last if my brew, “Well, except for this coffee. It’s heavenly.”




This was a contest entry which had a 750 word limit and the following required elements:

1. The decline or fall of an empire
2. A betrayal
3. Sleep Deprivation
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