Josh

It had been a hard day for Amanda. She was in her first year of teaching biology to a group of adolescent boys, who on this particular day would not stop making inappropriate jokes about organisms and orgasms and shooting spit balls through straws, all while she was trying her best to explain the reproduction of bacteria and make it sound as interesting as possible. She maintained her demeanour and gave the main offenders detention, but she was still the one who left the school with a headache, while they all left laughing and some even remarking about “how hot” their new teacher was, especially when she was angry.

“Why, oh, why did I have to be placed in an all-boys school in the heart of Dublin?” Amanda asked herself as she left the premises clutching the strap of her bag and directing her feet towards her favourite place to go after a hard day of work: Starbucks. It was starting to drizzle, and she had forgotten her umbrella in her rush to work in the morning. After looking up at the grey sky, she quickened her pace until two blocks and a right turn after, she was welcomed by warmth and the rich aroma of coffee.

The place was packed, with groups of friends chattering over one another and some people working quietly on their PCs. They were playing the Michael Buble playlist again, being only one month away from Christmas. She craned her neck around the groups of people in search of a free seat, and to her relief there was one at the back by the window.

She waited behind another woman who was ordering a mocha to go and noticed that there was a new barista there. She gazed at him while pretending to look at the menu above his head. He was tall with broad shoulders and you could tell he had a gym membership. He had short black hair, deep brown eyes and dimples when he smiled. She smoothed down her dress and tucked her hair behind her right ear. She reached into her coat pocket for her phone and texted her best friend.

Giiiiiirrl, I’m in Starbucks and there’s a new barista!!! He is super cuteee!!!

“You’re lucky you came in when you did,” a deep voice said. She looked up, after hitting send, and realised that the cute barista was staring at her. She obviously had a confused look on her face as she drew nearer to the counter, which was now free from the mocha woman, for then he pointed outside. Her eyes followed his finger. The rain was now falling with fervour.

“Yeah, very lucky to have forgotten my umbrella at home too,” Amanda laughed, turning back to the smile of the barista.

He ducked his head underneath the counter and resurfaced with an umbrella in hand, outstretching it to her. “Here,” he said, “there’s always a spare one here.”

“Wow, thank you. That’s so nice!” Amanda said as she took the umbrella. A smile lit up her face.

“So, what can I get for you?” he asked, putting his hands on the counter, shifting his weight towards her a little and grinning.

“Oh, yeah. A chai latte for here please…Josh,” she replied after reading his name tag.

“One chai latte coming right up, miss…?” he inquired.

“Amanda, minus the miss, when I’m not teaching that is,” she laughed.

“Ah, so you’re a teacher,” he mused as he turned around to start preparing her drink.

“Yes, I teach biology to hormonal teenagers, boys at that. Don’t even get me started,” she said with a hint of bitterness.

“You look very young to be a teacher, have you just started?” he asked, turning around again to look at her.

“Yeah, it’s my first year. We’ll see if I survive,” she joked.

“Well, I sure hope you do, Miss Amanda,” he smiled and then turned around again.

Amanda hovered awkwardly by the counter while he finished making her drink. She could hear the milk being steamed. Thinking about how he had called her “Miss Amanda”, she felt the heat rise in her cheeks and at the nape of her neck. She took out her phone again. A reply from Shelly.

Oh giirrrrl, give me details here!

He’s tall, dark and handsome…literally. And he gave me an umbrella..and called me “Miss Amanda”. Oh my gosh I’m gonna die.

You sooooooo gotta get in there! It’s time to get over Steve, work your magic hun! xxx

“Here you go, Amanda. One chai latte for you,” he said, catching her attention again.

“Thank you, Josh,” she said, taking the saucer and cup while holding the umbrella in her other hand. Not knowing what else to say, she said with a smile, “see you around.”

“I hope so,” he playfully replied and winked.

Her heart was racing. She slowly walked to the back of the café to the empty seat by the window. After setting her drink on the table and freeing herself from her coat, she sat down with a sigh of relief. Trying not to seem desperate by looking over at Josh, she took out her phone again.

Shelly, he is such a pro at this. My flirting game is so bad, it has been way too long! I was with Steve for 5 freaking years! What do I do? Arrrggh!

Amanda took a sip of her chai latte. She could feel eyes on her, and knew it must’ve been Josh, but was too shy to look. She grabbed her bag and retrieved Eat Pray Love, which she had been rereading since her breakup. She wished that she, too, could just leave everything and travel. She looked outside and at the rain bouncing off the pavement. She thought how lucky she was that Josh had given her the umbrella to take home, a thought that made her look at him. He was looking in her direction. She smiled shyly and turned her eyes back to her book. She stared at the page she had bookmarked but could only think about Josh, his cheeky smile, those dimples, his humour... Then her phone buzzed. She quickly checked the message.

Don’t let that cheating scumbag define you babe, you are hot stuff and you can get this guy! If you’re too shy to do it directly, write your number down and leave it on the table or something. He’ll call you, I’m sure of it 😉

She took another sip of her chai latte in thought and replied.

Thanks Shelly, you’re the best! I love you! That’s a good idea, I’ll do it before I leave. Wish me luuuck! Still on for brunch tomorrow? Xx

Her phone pinged straight away.

Of course babe, can’t wait to hear the details about this guy in person! Maybe we can go to Starbucks eh? 😉 See you tomorrow! Xx

She put her phone away and resumed the book while drinking her chai latte. Unsure if it was the rain, Michael Buble’s voice soothing the café or the long day she had had, she realised she felt really sleepy. She looked at her watch. Only twenty minutes had passed. She finished her drink in one gulp and took out her notepad from her bag. Deciding to be somewhat brave and taking her friend’s advice, she tore out a page from the back and wrote a note.

Josh,
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, speaks for itself with this number: 087125983. This note will self-destruct in ten seconds. Good luck,
“Miss” Amanda.

She folded the note and wrote “Josh” on the front. She placed it between the coffee cup and the saucer. Smiling to herself, she put her books away in her bag and prepared to leave. She took the saucer and empty coffee cup over to the counter. Josh, who had been talking and laughing with another barista, turned to her and smiled.

“Goodbye, Josh. Thanks again for the umbrella,” Amanda said, returning his smile.

“See you around, Miss Amanda. You can return it whenever,” he replied with a wink.

She turned and walked towards the door, not looking back to see if the right recipient had opened the note.

“Mission Impossible? Really? I really hope he gets that reference, otherwise I’m a total nerd,” she muttered, mentally kicking herself.

She pushed the door open, with a little difficulty as it felt heavier than before, and stepped into the cold air. She opened Josh’s umbrella and the rain bounced around her. She turned right and headed for home, which was a five-minute walk. As she was walking, her feet started to feel heavy and she almost felt like she was swaying. She felt dizzy. “What the hell is wrong with me?” she moaned as she pushed herself forward. It was a quiet evening but already dark and only a few people walked by her. One woman looked at her strangely. “Drunk at this time? What is happening to our youth?” Amanda thought she heard her mumble as she walked past.

Amanda was close to home, but she felt really dizzy and was beginning to see darkness in front of her eyes. She stopped for a moment and hugged the cold concrete wall next to her, dropping the umbrella in the process. She tried to control her breath and think about what was happening. She thought she heard someone behind her but was too weak to turn around and look. She was sure she was just hearing things. But she still pushed herself from the concrete wall and tried forcing herself to walk faster. The rain was drenching her, but she didn’t really notice.

“Hey, Amanda!” called a voice from the darkness behind her. She managed to turn around. She saw Josh, holding the umbrella she had dropped before.

“I was leaving work and saw you in front of me. I saw that you had dropped the umbrella. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, with a concerned look on his face.

Amanda opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t. The words weren’t coming out. She just looked at him and shook her head.

“C’mon. I’ll help you. You don’t look good. Where’s your house? Is it near?” he asked as he approached her and put his arm around her. She nodded and pointed to the left across the road.

“Okay, let’s go. I’ve got you.”

Josh supported Amanda in the direction she pointed towards. When they got to the building, she pointed him towards the elevator and after shuffling in together, she pressed for the 6th floor with some difficulty. “Why does my hand feel so heavy?” she wondered. Josh was saying some stuff, but it was incomprehensible to her. The elevator was swaying and she tasted bile at the back of her throat. Everything else was distant, even his hand around her waist. When they got to the 6th floor and in front of her apartment, Josh searched inside her bag for her keys, eventually retrieving them and opening the door. It was at that moment, as she attempted to thank him, when she fainted into his arms.

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The next day, Amanda was awoken by the sound of her phone ringing. She wanted to answer but couldn’t convince her arm to reach for it. After staring at the ceiling for a while, trying to force her eyelids fully open, she slowly sat up. Her head was pounding. It hurt to swallow and all she could taste was bile. Her eyes scanned her bedroom. The bedside table clock read 11.30am. She looked down at herself, throwing the blanket off her. She was wearing her Ramones t-shirt and her underwear from the previous day. She pushed herself to sit on the edge of the bed and tried to recollect what had happened. The last thing she could remember was leaving Starbucks. She didn’t even remember getting home. As soon as she stood up, she felt sore. Everywhere. Even down there. She looked around her room again, noticing an empty bottle of wine on her coffee table, which she couldn’t recall being there before. She waddled over to the coffee table, feeling the pain throbbing between her thighs. There was a note beside the wine bottle.

Miss Amanda,
I had to leave for work, I’m so sorry. Last night was unexpected…but amazing. I hope you feel better today! Can’t wait to see you again!
Josh.

She shook her head. Her thoughts were muddled. She asked herself, “Josh was here? Why can’t I remember anything…the wine, Josh? I must be going crazy. What the hell did I do?”

The phone was ringing again. This suddenly reminded her of the time and that she had planned to have brunch with Shelly at 11am. She pushed herself forward to the phone, sat on the bed and answered in a weak voice.

“Shelly…”

“What happened to you Amanda? I thought we were on for brunch, I’ve been waiting in the park for over half an hour and you haven’t been answering my calls. Did you get with cute barista guy last night? Is that it? Please oh please, tell me all the details!”

“Shelly… I don’t know. Something isn’t right. Can you come here please?”

“Okay, you’re freaking me out now Amanda. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. Not really…”

“I’m on my way, babe.”

When Shelly hung up, Amanda’s phone slipped from her fingers onto the floor. She sat as she was and hugged herself. She still couldn’t think straight. She didn’t know how to tell Shelly about what had happened, when she didn’t even remember everything. She felt numb inside, but her body ached. It felt like an eternity before Shelly came in with the spare key she had for Amanda’s flat, ran over to her and put her arms around her.

She didn’t even cry, she couldn’t. She just told Shelly everything, all she remembered and everything she couldn’t seem to remember. She pointed to the wine bottle and the note. Shelly rocked Amanda from side to side as she listened with a heavy heart. Amanda closed her eyes and when she opened them she saw him. She saw Josh. He was kissing her lips. He was kissing her neck. His hands were in her hair. He was taking off her shoes, her tights, her dress… She couldn’t move, like the time she was on that amusement ride which sucks you to the wall. She felt outside of her body, unable to do anything but watch and feel him press himself on her.

She grabbed a hold of Shelly and looked at her with wide eyes. In a quiet, hoarse voice she croaked out the words Shelly was fearing: “Shelly, I think he spiked my drink in Starbucks and then… I think … I think he raped me.”

“You have to report him, Amanda. I’ll go with you, you can do it. You’re not alone,” Shelly said with a reassuring, but sad, smile. Amanda nodded and stared off into the distance, wondering how the hell she could let this happen to herself. First Steve cheating on her and now this. What was it about her that made things like this happen?