Mortis Umbra

Years later, Caitlyn would laugh nervously and say it had not been the best night to stare down the devil, but the devil hadn’t known that. Or cared.

Of course, it hadn’t really been the devil, had it?

She got home late that night. She waited for the garage door to open and pulled inside. She waited again as the door closed behind her before turning off the engine and walking into her house. She saw that the basement light was on. “Ricky must still be up,” she thought. She turned off the porch light, and turned around. Gazing out the back window, she saw that it was bright in the backyard. The moonlight, reflecting off the snow, illuminated the yard and the forest behind her house. As she looked into the woods, she saw something moving. She tried to make out what it was, when she heard footsteps behind her. She spun around, unnerved by the animal she had seen, and saw Ricky standing behind her.

“Hey,” he said. “Work late tonight?” She nodded. “Yeah, we had a couple of tables come in right before close, so I took forever getting out of there.” She looked back at the window, but whatever was out there had disappeared. “What are you looking at?” asked Ricky. “There was something out there,” said Caitlyn. “I was trying to see what it was.” “I don’t see anything,” responded Ricky. “Yeah, it’s gone now. I just couldn’t tell what it was. The strange thing was that it looked right back at me. Like, it looked right into my eyes, like it could see me and it knew that I was watching it.” “Must have been a pretty rough night if you’re still keyed up from work,” mused Ricky. Caitlyn just shook her head and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

As she brushed her teeth, she thought to herself that she was lucky Ricky had not seen through her lie. She hadn’t been busy at work; it had been dead, and she had been cut two hours early. Instead of heading home though, she’d gone to the bar across the street from her restaurant and had a couple of drinks. It was Sunday night, so the bar was empty other than a few regulars and industry people like her who were spending their tips from that night on discounted beers. The idea was, she paid less for her beer but made up for it in tipping them. Also, when the bartenders came into her restaurant, she reciprocated the favor. It was an unspoken agreement that resulted in the same people just handing the same money back and forth.

It wasn’t so much that she cared if Ricky knew she’d been drinking. After all, she was twenty-four years old. The issue was that he was seventeen, and she had driven home. She could handle herself, but didn’t want to set a bad example for her little brother. Ever since their father had died, she’d taken on some of the parenting duties that older siblings often feel obligated to take on. She had never been overbearing about it, and she did not try to run his life for him, but he looked up to her, and she knew it. She had been a much better role model, before she felt she needed to be, but when their father had died in a car crash along with their other sister, it had been hard on everyone. She and her mom had done their best to stay strong for Ricky, but no one could walk away from that tragedy without demons. Caitlyn had begun to drink more frequently, although usually in moderation. She just enjoyed the time alone to be with her thoughts, and she had found that after several beers, she was more relaxed and more able to deal with her life.

She spit into the sink and rinsed her mouth. She put her toothbrush away and undressed. She put on her Hello Kitty pajama pants and her Red Wings jersey that her dad had bought for her at the first hockey game she had ever attended. Her dad had grown up in Michigan, so even though they weren’t close to Detroit now, he used to take her to the games whenever the Red Wings were in town. They were the only people in the “Home” sections rooting for the “Away” team, but that always made it more special for them. It was as though no one else was there but her and her dad. They would always get hot dogs, he would have a beer, and they would cheer for Steve Yzerman while everyone around them booed. She had not been to a game since the accident, of course, but she still wore the number 19 jersey to bed every night, as though she was spending time with her dad again. She had never been that close to Rachael though. The pain of losing a sister was there, but Rachael had been a bit older and distant, and she and Caitlyn had fought almost as often as they spoke.

By the time she left the bathroom, all of the other lights were off. Ricky must have gone to bed. She looked at his door, which was just down the hall from the bathroom, and she saw that his light was off. Across the hall from his bedroom was her mother’s door. Her light was off as well, and it had been for hours. She stepped into the kitchen, grabbed a snickerdoodle that her mom had made a few days prior. She held it in her mouth between her lips while she took a second one, and then made her way down to the basement where her bedroom was. She came to the middle landing where she had seen the animal earlier, and she looked again at the window. As her eyes adjusted to the bright moonlight, her heart nearly stopped. Standing on the other side of the window was the animal she had seen earlier. It was gazing back at her with a look of bewildered fear. It looked like a large black hound, with legs that were lean and powerful. Smoke seemed to emanate from it, as though it as made of smoldering embers. Flames licked at its burnt umber eyes, glowing at her in the dark. It placed its front paws up on the window as though it was trying to push its way in. She looked at the paws and saw four clawed fingers, with a shorter one at the back, as though they were hands. For a moment, she wondered if she had had too much to drink after all. Then the thing spoke to her, and somehow she knew this was real.

“Why did you see me?” the creature asked. It did not speak, really; it was more as if it projected its thoughts into Caitlyn’s mind. At first, Caitlyn was too shocked even to try to respond. “Why did you see me?” it repeated. “I don’t understand,” stammered Caitlyn. “What are you?” The creature paused for a moment, as though taking stock of the situation. “People are not supposed to see us,” the creature replied. Caitlyn’s voice trembled at her next question. “Are you going to kill me?” The creature did not answer. It licked its jowls and then looked around.

“Why don’t you let me inside and we can talk?” it asked. “NO!” cried Caitlyn. “I don’t want to die!” The creature seemed to smile at this. I will not hurt you, Caitlyn. I just thought we could talk better that way,” the creature thought at her. “Where are your manners?” Caitlyn whimpered. “You know my name?” The creature laughed inside her head. “I know many things. I know all about you. I am in your mind, after all.” Caitlyn felt less distraught when she thought about it that way. Maybe the thing wasn’t there to kill her after all. Still, she was afraid of the thing. “I can’t let you in,” she said. “My family is asleep. I just don’t feel right about it.” “Come now,” the thing said. “You’ve had a tough night. Work was slow and you had too much to drink. You’re letting fear overcome logic. If I wanted to hurt you or your family, I would not ask to be let in. I’m just trying to be polite.”

Caitlyn reeled at what was happening. This could not be real. She had blown a brain screw or something. Three was just no way that a large black dog was talking to her inside her head. She felt faint and nauseous, and she tried to reassure herself mentally. “I must have passed out,” she thought, “and I’, dreaming a very strange, very realistic dream. This is not real. This isn’t real,” she kept thinking. “This isn’t…” The hound cut into her thoughts. “Sorry to disappoint, but I am real. I am not a drunken hallucination. Let me in and I will explain my presence here.” “This just isn’t possible,” thought Caitlyn. “Say it is a dream,” the creature thought at her. “What does it matter? We can still talk in the warmth of your house, and when you wake up, none will be the worse. Caitlyn felt her mind running over possibilities. The thing was right. If it wanted to kill her, she would already be dead. “Besides,” she thought, “this isn’t real. It doesn’t matter what happens in a dream, because when you wake up, it’s all over.”

Then again, there were other scenarios to consider. “I guess there are two things I can do,” she thought. “Let it in or leave it outside. If I’m asleep and I let it in, there is no problem. If I’m asleep and I leave it outside, again there's no problem. What if…what if I’m awake though? If I’m awake and I let it in, it could kill me and Ricky and mom.” It seemed clear to her that no matter what, she could not let the thing in. Sensing her thoughts, the thing had begun pacing outside the window, with its tail flicking back and forth every time it turned around. Now that she had reached a decision, it turned back towards the window, and Caitlyn could sense its agitation.

The creature began to plead. “Please, Caitlyn, it’s cold. I am freezing and I’m hungry. I just want to come in and talk. Surely you have some compassion!” The thoughts in her head sounded like a wounded dog, whining and whimpering. She felt bad for the thing and began to doubt her distrust of it. Still, when she looked at the thing, she was afraid. She started to make excuses for why she couldn’t let it in. “I just can’t,” she said. “I don’t want to wake my family up. Besides, there really isn’t anything to eat in here. At least, nothing that I think you’d like.” At once, she regretted saying this. The animal responded quickly. “You don’t know that! I would not make any noise. I speak only inside your head, and you do not have to speak either. Just think what you would say, and think it towards me, and I will hear it. Moreover, you have no idea what I eat. I’m sure I could find something.”

Something about the way that this last line say in Caitlyn’s head reassured her that she was correct in not trusting the thing. She tried to remain polite, for fear of angering the thing, but she must remain firm in her decision. “I cannot,” she said again. “You must think I’m awful, but I just can’t let a strange animal into the house.” The creature smiled. It was a terrible smile, full of sharp teeth, and steam rolled out of its mouth. “I am not strange!” the creature laughed. “Here we are, getting to know each other, and yet still you do not trust me. I feel like we know each other so well.” At this, Caitlyn shuddered. She did not know what the creature wanted, but she knew that it meant no good. It desperately wanted to enter her house, and this frightened her. “No!” she thought fiercely at the beast. “Please just leave me alone!”

The thing sighed. “You try my patience. I tried to be polite, and yet still you refuse me. I only want to be friendly, but if I must, I will grow angry. Look at me, Caitlyn. Look at the power in my legs. Look at my claws. They are like talons, capable of ripping. They are capable of ripping open the very walls of your house, if I wanted. Do you know what I could do with them, inside your house, if I was angry?

Caitlyn felt a difference in the creature’s thoughts. Instead of a voice in her head, she started to see images. The thing was putting pictures into her mind, and she could not block them out. They started out fuzzy, and then she felt herself slipping into the thing’s creation. It was like falling asleep and seeing a dream taking form. At first, she knew it was only an illusion, but it was one that she could not shake off, and soon she felt herself immersed in the reality that the creature was creating.

Helpless against what was happening, Caitlyn turned away from the window. She walked slowly up the stairs. Her movements were irregular, as though someone else was controlling her legs, and her body did not want to follow. As it were, this was an accurate account of what was happening to her. The creature pushed her up the stairs, and she had no choice but to follow its orders. When she reached the top of the landing, she turned right. Still moving slowly down the hallway, she paused at the bathroom and looked in. The lights snapped on, and it took her a moment to realize that she had reached up and flipped the switch. It took another moment for her eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness. As they did, she felt herself try to scream. Although no sound emitted from her lips, she felt sure that the whole world must have heard her.

To her right, in the bathtub, she saw that there was blood everywhere. The tub itself was full of blood, and the surrounding walls were splattered with crimson, as though something living had exploded in the bath and been left there with the drain stoppered, until blood ran down over the edge. She looked more closely at the bathtub and found the source of the gore. It was her dog, Meatloaf. He looked as though all of his internal organs had ruptured and he had bled out. Blood seemed to ooze from every opening on his head. The rest of his body was submerged. Only his head remained above the pool of crimson. On his head, he also had several ruptured sores that were emanating fluid as well. Caitlyn felt as though she might be ill. Her body turned, and she walked back out of the bathroom.

She turned right in the hallway, and she walked a few more feet before turning left. In front of her, Ricky’s door was closed and no light shone from under his door. Caitlyn could not bear to open the door. Terror gripped her entire body, as she felt certain that she knew what would come next. Her premonition was tested as her hand lifted up, turned the doorknob, and opened the door. The room was dark, but she found herself once again reaching to turn on the light.

Ricky was in his bed. His normally while sheets were dark red. His face was pale, and it held an expression of bewilderment and terror. His throat was slashed wide open, with a horrible similarity to the creature’s smile. Fog seemed to drift from the open wound, as though the blood that was spilling from him was boiling. She heard a hissing sound like hot water being thrown on snow. Over the sizzling, she thought she could hear Ricky cry out for help. She found herself drifting again, as though a dream within this dreamlike state was taking her away. Once again, she felt herself unable to resist. She began to see time moving backwards. Before her eyes, the blood began to recede from the bed sheets back into Ricky. His throat closed, and the creature walked into the room, moving backwards. She backtracked into the hall and back to the bathroom. The blood began to run up the sides of the bathtub, back into the tub. It flowed into Meatloaf’s eyes, ear, mouth, and nose. It sprinkled off the walls back into his orifices. She then watched, appalled, as the creature breathed its spectral fog into of Meatloaf as time resumed normally. As the dog exploded, she found herself back in Ricky’s room. Ricky’s eyes snapped open in shock as the beast used a single clawed talon to slice open his throat.

Caitlyn felt herself leaving Ricky’s room. She knew what came next; it was too much for her. “Please stop!” she tried to cry out. Her mouth would not move, since it was not really hers, but she knew that the creature could hear. She continued to walk, however, out of Ricky’s door and across the hall into her mom’s bedroom. Initially, she could not see anything. She strained to hear her mother’s breathing, hoping that maybe nothing was wrong in this room, though she knew it would be. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she again found herself able to see despite the pitch black. What she saw nearly broke her mind.

Her mother was lying on the bed. For a moment, Caitlyn thought that she was stretched out on the bed. As she looked again, she realized that her mom’s arms and legs had been ripped from her torso, and were lying next to the severed stumps where they belonged. Her mother’s head was still attached. Caitlyn was sure of this because all of the flesh on her mother’s neck had been stripped away. The entire cervical curve of her spine was exposed, from her clavicle to the base of her skull. Her head was turned to the side, facing away from Caitlyn. “No,” she silently pleaded as she started to walk around the bed to the other side. “Please, no!” As she came around the bed, she saw her mother’s face. Her eyes were wide open in surprise, but her mouth was a wide-open grin as thought it was all just a sick joke. The forced smile was unnatural, as evidenced by the blood running from both corners of her mouth. Caitlyn could not bear it. She tried to scream, and then found herself back in front of the window, facing the hellish hound. “No more,” she thought fiercely at it. “I can’t take any more.” “Are you ready to let me in them,” asked the creature, “so that we can talk like civilized beings?”

Caitlyn wanted to agree. She wanted to let the thing in so that they could talk, and maybe she would be done with the nightmares. She hesitated. Something did not seem right. Something was amiss, and the creature was trying to trick her. Somehow, it was trying to outsmart her. She thought that it stood to reason that if she let it in, it might as likely sit down and talk to her, as it would make good on the thoughts that it put into her head. As though it sensed her thoughts, (and perhaps it did), the thing spoke again. “What you have seen does not have to happen. You can stop this. Think of your father. Think of your sister. What would they think of your decision to let the rest of your family die, just to try to keep yourself safe? Don’t you think that they would want you to let me in, to avoid what you have seen?” Caitlyn thought back angrily, “I will never know what they would think. They are dead.” The creature smiled at her. “Yes they are,” it thought to her. “Do you know why?”

With that, Caitlyn found herself in a car. She was in the back seat. Her father was driving, while her sister, Rachael, sat next to him. “So did you enjoy dinner?” Caitlyn’s father asked. Rachael responded succinctly, as usual. “It was fine.” “Just fine?” her father asked. “It was good. Whatever,” Rachael sighed. “Is everything okay?” asked her father. “You don’t seem your usual chipper self.” “I’m fine,” said Rachael. “Just tired?” asked her father. “Yeah,” mumbled Rachael. Her father sat in silence for a few minutes before asked, “Work been tough?” Rachael nodded but continued to stare out the window. “We’re just always understaffed and busy. Then people get rude.” “Well, you should tell your boss to hire your sister. Caitlyn could use a job and if you guys need help, it’s a win-win. Rachael continued to look away, and shook her head. “I’ve already talked to him, Dad. He has her application. There’s nothing else I can do.” Again, there was silence for a few moments. Rachael turned on the radio as if to signal that the conversation was over.

A few songs down the road, Caitlyn’s father finally spoke again. “You know, if you don’t want to go out for dinner, we could do something else for date night. Your mother and I often just rent a movie. Cait and I always manage to catch a hockey game when the Wings are in town.” Rachael shook her head. “Dinner was fine, Dad. I don’t really care about hockey, and I don’t see us agreeing on a movie.” Her father looked at Rachael and said, “I can be flexible. Your mother always picks what we rent, whether I want to see it or not. We do not have to do movies or sports. We could find something that you and I could enjoy together.” Rachael continued to stare out the window. “Dad, I said dinner was fine. You do not have to make such a big deal out of this. I know you like the fact that every weekend you take Mom or Caitlyn or me out. You never take Ricky out though. I do not need a movie or a hockey game. I’m not Caitlyn, no matter how much you wish I was.” Her father looked upset by this, and Caitlyn cried out. “How can you say that, Rachael? Dad loves you and he loves Ricky!” Neither Rachael nor their father could hear her.

There was more of the uncomfortable silence. Caitlyn’s father was upset, and Rachael sat brooding. Every so often, Rachael glanced over at her father, looking like she was about to say something, but each time she looked back out the window and refused to break the silence. “Tell him!” screamed Caitlyn. “Tell him you’re sorry, before it’s too late!” Still, Rachael was silent. Finally, after some time, Caitlyn’s father turned and looked at Rachael. “Rachael, I’m sorry if you feel that I’ve neglected you. I know Caitlyn and I have our hockey games, and because of that, we’re closer than you and I are. I am trying to change that though. I’m trying to find something to make us closer. I have never asked you to be anything or anyone that you’re not. I know I may not win any father of the year awards, but I try to do my best. Rocky and I may not go out, but we spend time at home together, and I don’t think he has any complaints.” He looked sad, and gazed at Rachael. “Dad,” said Rachael, looking forward. Caitlyn’s father replied, “I know, I just want you to…” “No, Dad,” Rachael said more urgently, pointing in front of her. Caitlyn looked up a split second before her father did.

Glass splintered and flew as the car piled into a semi truck that had veered into oncoming traffic. Caitlyn’s father had tried to swerve away, but in an instance of fatal irony, the truck had turned in the same direction to avoid the accident. Caitlyn heard the horrible thud of metal on metal as they collided. Time seemed to move slowly, and yet everything happened so fast. It was as though time stopped and started and stopped again, over and over. A million thoughts passed through Caitlyn’s mind in less than a second, as her father’s wrist smashed into the steering wheel. His watch fractured, stopping forever at 8:18. One of the hubcaps popped off of the tire and bounced away. Caitlyn felt an insane urge to laugh as she watched Rachael’s head bounce off of the passenger side window, leaving a spider-web fracture in the glass, streaked with red. Her father’s head smashed into the steering wheel but did not bounce. It stayed embedded where it was. Caitlyn felt as the she was going to be ill. She sat amid a horrible ballet of bodies tumbling and fragments of car flying through the air, and yet they all seemed just to float by Caitlyn in slow motion, not noticing that she was still sitting in the back. As the car began to fold up like an accordion, and the back seat area became noticeably smaller, Caitlyn began to drift away from the scene. “Goodbye. I love you,” she whispered at her sister and father’s bodies, as they faded from sight forever.

Caitlyn stared at the creature in front of her. She did not know how or why she knew, but she was certain that was how her father and sister had died. She also knew that she could not let this thing inside the house. “Are you ready to let me in now?” it asked her. “I will never let you in,” Caitlyn thought back, with resolve she had never known before. “You are truly an evil creature. How could you make me watch that crash? I will not let you in here, because now I know that you would kill us all.” The thing smiled at Caitlyn. “You know nothing, little girl,” it thought to her. “Yes, I could kill you all. I can kill you all right now. So think. Why haven’t I? I do not want to kill you. I just want to come inside. I can be kind as well. I can give you what you’ve always wanted. Caitlyn felt thoughts beginning to swirl in her head. This time, she did not go anywhere. Time passed in front of her, and the moon flew across the sky in the window in front of her. The sun rose up in front of her, and she blinked and rubbed at her eyes. As Caitlyn’s vision cleared, she was still standing in front of the window, but the creature was gone. She heard a noise from the main floor, and she looked up, hoping to see her mom or Ricky, or even her dog. What she saw was far better.

Her father stood at the top of the stairs, blinking sleep from his eyes. “What are you still doing up, Cait?” She laughed and sobbed at the same time. She hated being called Cait, but there had been one person who had made it work, and he was standing in front of her. “Daddy!” she exclaimed. She started to run to him, but she stopped, suddenly. Something did not seem right. How could he be alive? Had she imagined everything? Had the creature put the idea into her head that her father and sister had died? Had the creature even visited her? Maybe she’d had a dream that she just could not shake. “What’s going on?” she asked her father. “Well, it is early in the morning and you’re staring out a window. You tell me!” he teased. “Are you guys having a party?” The voice came from down the hall. Rachael walked out of the hallway, staring at them both.

Caitlyn was so happy that she burst into tears. “Cait, what’s wrong?” her father asked her. “Nothing,” she smiled, “Nothing at all,” and she tried to stifle another sob. Just then, Meatloaf walked out of the hallway behind Rachael. “Oh, Meatloaf,” Caitlyn cried. He trotted to her without stopped at Rachael or their father, wagging his tail. “Look who’s back,” she said to Meatloaf. “Back?” asked Rachael, clearly confused. “Where did we go?” “Never mind,” said Caitlyn. “I guess I just had a bad dream.” Meatloaf wagged his tail at Caitlyn as she spoke, but then he turned towards the window. There was a sudden change in his attitude. The fur on his neck bristled, and he began to growl. “Meatloaf, stop!” laughed Caitlyn’s father. Meatloaf did not stop. Something was wrong. Meatloaf always listened to Caitlyn’s father. “What’s wrong, Meatloaf?” asked Caitlyn, but she already knew.

Meatloaf had not seen or heard Rachael or their father. They were not really there. Meatloaf could see the creature, however. It was real. “Stop it,” Caitlyn thought. She was no longer afraid or upset. She knew now what would happen. She had a choice. She could continue this torture, seeing some things that were not real and some that were, until the creature tricked her into letting it inside. She could also end things a different way. She could go outside. If she could get to another door before the thing realized what was going on, then her mother and Ricky would be safe, for surely if she made it outside to confront the beast, it would rip her to pieces. All she had to do to save them was to die. Her dad and sister faded out of view as the creature faded back in. “I love you guys,” Caitlyn whispered towards where she’d seen her dad and sister, “and I’ll see you soon.” The creature spoke to her. “Are you ready now? Let me in.” Caitlyn laughed, but her laugh was calm and controlled. She was way past hysteria. “I will never let you in,” she laughed. “If you want me, I’ll come to you.” The beast thought for a moment. “I accept,” it said, after a minute. “Bring the dog.” Caitlyn shook her head. “You can kill me. You will not take him as well.” The beast laughed inside her head. “Very well then, I will not kill your dog. After I kill you, I will make him like me. I cannot leave either of you, however. You have seen me.”

Caitlyn’s patience finally snapped. Her mind could take no more. “No,” she said. “You cannot have him. If you must, you’ll have to come get us.” The creature hissed at her, and then it began to scratch and tear wildly at the window. After a few moments of this futility, it stopped. Caitlyn heard then the sweetest sound of her life: birds chirping. “It might be the last thing I hear,” she thought to herself. The creature looked over its shoulder, and then it wailed. The sun was coming up. “Please, Caitlyn, let me in!” it shrieked into her mind. Something about its tone emboldened Caitlyn. “No,” she thought angrily. “Go to hell, you bastard.”

With that, the creature felt the sunlight. In a matter of seconds, everything changed. The beast turned into fog and started to drift away. As it did, it thought to itself, “She won. I do not know how or why she saw me, but she won. She resisted me.” It thought about the ancient laws that prevented it from entering a home without permission. It thought about the friend it almost had in Meatloaf. It thought about the wild hunt that drove it every night, until it was nearly dead with exhaustion, and what would happen now. It would take some time for it to regain its physical form. It was not supposed to be seen except by those who were about to die. Caitlyn had won. The light would carry it away for a time. It would return, eventually. It had nothing but time; that was the advantage of immortality. For now, it would drift into oblivion for a much-needed rest.