heartbroken

My friends think if I write about it ill feel better. So I'm giving it a try I'm changing the names of the people in it but other than that it is all true


          it's the beginning of the school year; I had three main friends at the time. I was alone and depressed. I wanted to die basically.
Our school goes on a grade bonding trip, and my mom forced me to go. Me being me I tried so hard not to have fun not to enjoy the trip. I saw him, and that changed. I wanted to have fun and enjoy my time because he was there having fun and enjoying himself. He was a year older than me. He was cute and cared what I thought. He was the first guy in a while that I didn't hate. I tried my hardest to be in his group to sit at his table to hang with him at free time. We played truth or dare, and I told his friend chase to dare him to kiss me. He did. I always thought people were lying when they said they felt sparks while kissing someone, but I felt them.
          that night it was so hot we all slept outside on the porches, in the middle of the night chase came to me and said " Jake wants to kiss you again. Do you want to?" I told him to buzz off thinking he was lying. "tell him to come tell me himself, I don't believe you." he never came over. That morning at breakfast we sat next to each other and just talked.
          it was time to leave and go back to school on the bus; he asked me if I would sit next to him. I, of course, said yes. My mom didn't let me bring my phone so that I couldn't listen to music. He let me listen to his; we still have inside jokes about the songs. I am such a good person I gave him dating advise for asking out a different girl. We are both ticklish; so we got in to tickle fights, we got really close. I learned that not all people are bad.
          I gave him my snapchat. The second I got home I snapped him, and we talked all day. When we went back to school that morning we sat next to each other in the one class, we had together. That was my favorite class that year. Before him, I didn't want to come to school, but now I come just to see him. We started dating on the 16th of September five days or so after the trip. We went on our first real date on the 28th of September. Our date was to a playground, and a coffee shop. I forgot when our first kiss was, but it was before the playground.
We would kiss in the halls during classes, get to science early to just hug and kiss. We dated tell January were we took a break, but we got back together two months later right after my birthday. We took a couple of breaks throughout the year of us dating.
          we broke up two days before our one year. he thought I had lost interest in him. (i didn't) He got a new girlfriend four days later; And took her to homecoming. They dated for three months and he cheated on her with me throughout. i thought it was okay but i know now its not. I stopped letting him cheat with me, and we went to just being friends. his girlfriend doesn't let him talk to me. After the three months, they dated he stayed single, and we were just friends with benefits. I could tell that he didn't love me anymore. So last night I told him we had to stop talking because I was holding him back. I unfollowed him on snap chat and emailed this to him "I unfollowed you on snap if you need to rant in here you have my number and my email. But you are right I cant hold you back anymore. So I'm letting you go, I'm letting go of what we had. I hope we can still be friends. You are still my best friend.
Love boo bear" boo bear was the nickname he gave me I gave him one too I called him snookums.
Its been six months and I am still not over him.