Transgendermania

I read with interest today's World News Bureau story on transgender Girl Scouts, shortly after writing it. This subject really hits home with me - not just because the whole country has seemingly gone gaga over sexually confused mental cases, but because this weirdness has infected our own family more than once.

Most of you remember that as a kid I had an uncle who unexpectedly switched teams, and more recently my girlfriend Sissy went trannie after a brief relationship with her cellmate, Mungo. Now, Sissy's little sister, Spud (I don't think that's her real name), using picture cards and sign language suddenly made the epic announcement last night that she's "identifying" as an elderly Korean man named "Chin Lee." Oh, good God.

As I've mentioned before, Spud is a little mentally challenged, so this normally wouldn't have been that big of a thing - at least if she were a guy from this country. You see, Spud can't speak English now, and none of the rest of us speak Korean. Also, she's taken to peeing standing up, so the bathroom's an absolute mess. As if that weren't bad enough, this morning we caught Spud trying to put Mr. Jangles on a pointed stick, presumably to cook him on the hibachi she had going in the family room (What is the deal with Asians eating cats, anyway?). That's it.

I'm going to get ahold of the Girl Scouts and see if they can take custody of Spud Chin Lee for the summer, as we have enough to deal with without this crap.

I sure long for the good old days when boys were boys and girls were girls and people like Spud were electroshocked until their pubic hair caught fire...