Last goodbye

She gazed around the empty room , she wanted to let the memories overwhelm her one last time . She thought of him . Even thought it has been over a couple of years since she met him , she still remembered everything about him . There were about a thousand things she wanted to tell him even then. She wished to tell him that she loved him unconditionally, even in those moments when he treated her bad , when he was with other girls in front of her. She wanted to tell him that she will wait for him forever even thought she knew she would never be in his embrace again. But most of all she wanted to shout and show him how he influenced her life that he was her motivation , how he made her change , made her stronger. Even though it was hard for her she wanted to know that she had a thousand sleepless nights because of him , nights when she couldn't fall asleep until she knew he was safe. As she gave those things one last thought she decided to pack a suitcase which was full of his memories and to let it sink in the deepest oceans. Today was the day she had to move on . She turned the key to the now empty apartment and got out of the building . Outside it was raining , she move through not feeling the rain on her skin , and all of a suddenly and without any warning he appeared in front of her . She stopped when she saw him , he did too. After of brief moment he started moving towards her , stopping again just an inch in front of her . Now she could again feel his warm breath on her . As they stood there , no one had the courage to say those last words , the words of goodbye . She looked him in the eyes as he lined trying to kiss her , she moved aside, and finally started saying all those things that she has been hiding all those years.
- It has been a long time since I met you , since that moment you came in my life , how I wish that I never met you , I wish I never tasted your lips that night. I was so young and I didn't know what is love neither what is like to be love. But see, luck was never my friend and she led me to you , made me love a person who doesn't know how to love. And every night after, that one when I met you , I wished to be near you , to laugh at your stupid jokes , I wished that once your smile was because of me, for your hands to hold me when I was at my worst. I wished you were my refuge in life . And there were those moments when I was near you but I felt so far from you , that it seemed like Australia was closer than you.
He tried to say something but she continued
- You have to let me say everything even if it is for the last time. And then there was the time that you found out that I was in love with you , that was the worst time of my life. It was then when I tasted the first bitter tears of childish love because I thought you didn't have any feelings for me , because if you had you would already made a move, right?.. But I,was an innocent child I consulted myself that you were too shy to make a move ,and I waited . And do you know when I found out that you were not shy at all , the night I saw you kiss some girl right in front of me.
She smiled but a tear rowed down warming her face , she let that one and all the ones that followed to row down her red cheeks
- And that there was the time that I finally got away from you , and I moved on with my life as if I've never met you , but I always felt that there was always something missing. And then there was that time when your whole world fell apart , I wished you knew how much I wanted to be there for you to comfort you in those times , knowing well that , that kind of pain does not heal over time . But I felt your pain and I cried as much as you did. But I couldn't be with you and I can't tell you even know why it was like that.
And now I am all grown up and I know what you meant to me , and what was I to you. I am not the same girl you met all those years ago I changed .I managed to put my heart back together even though it was shattered in a million pieces. And now I know I will never love anyone the way that I loved you, but I will not give my heart to anyone anymore, at least that is what I need for now.
The tears rowed down her cheeks along with the rain , but the smile on her face didn't disappear. She slowly got near him , kissed him gently for the last time , and left without looking back. As he watched her leave , his tears started falling down with the rain. His heart ached of pain , but he knew he had to let her go . He had to let the love of his life be happy , even if it meant losing her forever.