7:53

Im at this desk, it's 7:53,
thinking too vividly about every breath that I breathe,
I wonder if she thought she found the one in me?

It's pathetic,
It's a mess,
I had only one request,
what I got back was a 20-year long quest of regret.

Maybe I've become bored,
Maybe I've become depressed,
Maybe I should go outside,
Maybe I could have sex?

Would it fill this Void?
fully embracing another,
remembering the times that I was a would-be lover,
Maybe its time to stop,
Not search for one other,
Quit thinking about all the time that I want to rediscover.

Perhaps its just my perception, found drifting in this life I was given.
Should I stop drifting?
Find a cure for this plague life's forced me to endure?

Have I forgotten? Have I sat on this throne of thorns for too long?
Tainting my own mind with all the things that went wrong,
Am I good enough? Am I strong?
Should I finish writing this song?

Maybe I did something wrong,
Past-life or other,
a convicted rapist-killer,
or deserted my brother.

Fuck it, I don't know,
I'm no scholar, nor writer.
I'm just a 20-year old kid with no strength left for laughter.