Colorful Dreams

I dreamed of color again.
I drifted on a wooden raft which bobbed in a saturated blue sea. I could see my reflection in the water, painted in slightly darker shades like navy blue and dark denim, quivering with the movement of the water. Flashes of light and dark blue flecked the surface of the radiant sea. Occasionally, I would cup my hands and splash myself with the vivid water. I didn’t dare close my eyes. I let the blue flood in, even though it stung. I absorbed its richness, and thought of blueberries, of cloudless summer skies, of my bright blue sweater I had when I was 5.
Then the water slowly started to turn green. I savored every shade in between- turquoise, teal, aquamarine, evergreen, and then a bright shamrock color. I could have sworn I could smell freshly cut grass. I could have sworn I could have tasted mint ice cream. It was so fresh and alive looking, I just wanted to be surrounded by it.
So I dived in.
Sound was muffled, yet the green seemed to be singing.
“Look my glory! Behold my beauty!” it cried!
And I did. Green was always my favorite color.
I kicked my legs and glided through the water, savoring every last second under this vast ocean of liquid happiness, until I needed more air.
My face broke through the surface again, as my lungs devoured the air. I held on to the wooden raft, catching my breath. It took me a moment to notice that the water had turned a bold red. Just like flowing red silk dresses, walking down the red carpet. Just like freshly picked, juicy, shiny strawberries. Just like Rudolph’s nose. Hooray for red!
My heart was so full I thought it would jump right out of my chest, and we could laugh together and talk about how much fun this was. I yelled triumphantly into the air, opening my mouth wide. When I swallowed a raindrop.
I almost choked, it came as such a surprise. Where did that come from? I looked at the sky. It was blue with a few puffy white clouds- white like marshmallows, and snow, and printer paper and whipped cream- oh don’t get me started. But I had felt a raindrop. I felt rain fall from a perfect sky. What?
Then out of nowhere, another landed on my arm, wet and heavy and thick like mud. I turned to see what it looked like, expecting another wonderful color to feed my eyes.
Breath left by body.
Black.
The raindrop was black.
It dribbled down the curve of my arm, leaving a trail of absolute blackness behind it.
Black like coal, black like the night sky, black like ink.
Black like blindness.
The raindrops fell more frequently, spattering into the red sea and spreading like a virus, spoiling its brilliant pigmentation, until the water was completely black. The sky offered no comfort. It too had switched over to the dark side. It felt like someone had popped my soul like a balloon, and now all of my joy and hope were wheezing out.
The rain continued to thrum all around me, swallowing me up, roaring furiously.
“No!” I screamed. “Not yet, please not yet, I’m not ready!” My arms swung at the water, splashing as if someone could come and save me. This couldn’t be the end of my fantasy.
My eyes caught a single pink raindrop, that had splashed onto the raft. For a moment I didn’t move, thinking I must be just imagining it. But it stayed there on the raft, shattering the blackness with its happy, cotton candy color. Then, after I was sure it was real, I scrambled towards it like it was a bunny and I was a starving wolf. I curled my body over it, my back a shield from the neverending darkness that fell down upon me and my raindrop.
“Please, please, please…” I whispered. “Stay with me little raindrop please.”
My raft started sinking but I didn’t try to swim away to save myself. I protected my drop, cupping it in my hands. It was all I cared about. My last hope.
As the water reached my neck, I held my hands up from the water and peeked into a gap in my fingers to see that my drop was still there. It had to be.
The pink had drowned. And so was I. My mouth filled with water, and I couldn’t even scream.
I sat up straight, my breath coming in and out like I was a chugging train. My fists grabbed the sheets next to me tightly, grasping to make sure I knew where I was. My alarm clock was going off, and my blankets were damp with sweat. My breathing slowed slightly I flung my hand towards my alarm clock, trying to find the button which shut the ear piercing sound off. Finally, my finger found the slight indent that I had learned so well and clicked that ended my clock’s assault on my ears. After a moment, I flopped back down against my pillow, trying to breath steadily through my nose, and pursing my lips like I was whistling to slowly push it out of my mouth. It was over. I was safe. Everything was back to normal. Accept, back to normal wasn’t what I wanted. I was still blind, and I always would be.