The Hole

It was on this mundane, painfully predictable night that I would find myself in that hole once again. I found myself rather thwarting all that I had left into this sad, empty abyss of a hole. I let my deepest, darkest fears consume me. I let fear and doubt win. Why did I let myself get to this point? Every move, every breath was painful. For the first time, in a long time, I was scared. By no doubt, did I mean scared, as in a bit shook up, but rather, petrified to the bone. I was not myself that year. I was on the outside looking in, wondering if I would be able to save myself in time. Time was exactly what I didn't have and yearned for the most. I often wonder if that is the reason for all the pain. If time was truly endless, it wouldn't matter so.