PUSHING ON

IN A DARK ROOM, MY BACK AGAINST THE WALL,
SHOVED FROM THE BACK, I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL! TALKING TO MYSELF, BECAUSE I WANT TO DISAPPEAR ,
ASKING MYSELF HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE. COULD ANYONE FEEL THE PAIN THAT WAS BOILING FROM MY INSIDES OUT, DID SHE KNOW HOW BAD HE WAS DIGGING ME OUT. MAKING ME STAY WITH THIS MAN AS A YOUNG CHILD, WHILE ALL ALONG HE WAS CHECKING ME OUT.

PUSHING ON!!!!

8 A.M BARELY AWAKE LEFT IN THE HOUSE IS THIS A MISTAKE, YOU HAD TO KNOW YOU LEFT ME BEHIND,
OH MY GOD! HE'S COMING INSIDE, MY ROOM DOOR OPENS, THIS LONG GRIN APPEARS AND ALL I COULD SAY WAS GET OUT OF HERE.
AS HE TELL ME SHUT UP I COULD FEEL MY TEARS JUST FALL, KNOWING AT 10 I DONT WANT THIS AT ALL.
WHY, NO HOW COULD HE DO THIS, MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY I ASK THIS GOD AS I QUIETLY PRAYED.
AS HE KISS ME AND CALL ME FOUL NAMES ALL I KNEW WAS I HATED THIS GAME.
FINGERS GOING IN AGAIN AS HE SCRATCHES MY INSIDES, CANT HE SEE THESE TEARS I POOR FROM DOWN MY EYES.
NOW HE TELLS ME TO GET UP AS HE PULLS HIS PANTS DOWN, I SAY PPPLEASE, BUT HE SAYS SHUT UP,
GET ON YOUR KNEES YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRL, AND MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, BUT WHAT DO THAT MEAN AS A LITTLE GIRL,
AS HE PUT THIS IN MY MOUTH MY LIFE JUST ENDED AND NO DOORS WILL EVER GET ME OUT. THIS MEMORY IN MY HEAD STICKS WITH YOU AS YOU GROW OLD, THE PAIN I KNOW STILL DONT UNFOLD.
THIS DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY AND THE THINGS THEY DO TO KEEP A MAN, I HATE THEM I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
BUT TO HAVE A DAUGHTER AND BE SCARED DUE TO WHAT HAPPEN TO ME,
SHIT THIS TYPE OF THING CAN DRIVE YOU CRAZY.

PUSHING ON.....


BUT ONE THING I KNOW AND ALL I WILL DO, IS FIGHT FOR YOU MY DAUGHTER BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO FEEL DARK AND BLUE.
FROM WHAT SOME GROWN BITTER MAN HAVE STOLEN FROM YOU.
SO I'M PUSHING ON IN LIFE, EVEN IF THAT PAIN HAVE TO BE PUSH DOWN IN A CAGE,
A PAINFUL HURTFUL CAGE THAT IS FEEL WITH RAGE, BUT FOR YOU MY LORD I WILL LET GO BUT THIS PAIN I FEEL WILL ALWAYS BE MY TITANIC THAT HAS DIED SLOW..
PUSHING ON....
AND ALL ALONG I MADE IT OUT ALIVE, PUSHING ON SO LET ME FINALLY GET OFF MY DARKESS AND SCARIEST RIDE..