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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Inspirational · #2140303
I can't truly put into words what you mean to me
The Greatest person I've ever known
By Albert Lepage

The greatest person I've ever known is not some great leader of men, or some sports hero, it's a woman I've known for some 25 years, a woman I was once luckily enough to call my lover, and a woman who will always be known as my best friend Jamie Page Dumond. She's also my greatest mistake in my life. Because with her I had finally found true love. But my depression led to a disolvement of a love of a lifetime. You see Jamie, has always had extremely tough circumstances in life. She married really early in life to a man that never truly loved her the way he should have. She had her first child at a very young age, a beautiful baby girl named Tianna, she gave that girl everything she possibly could, worked three jobs at times. I was very close to Jamie at this time we were best friends, I was one of the first to hold Tianna in my arms as a baby. Jamie and I went thru hell and back in those days. Between both her husband and my wife's infidelity, to a breast cancer scare. To the point where when she told me she was moving away to California because her husband was being stationed there, I went to his place of work and told him, that if he hurt her I'd track him down. Sadly we lost touch and I wouldn't see her again until 5 years later when she came back without him.

When I saw her again, we met up to chat, we both were going thru divorces, but I had never lost the feelings that I had for her. I kissed her for the first time that night. It was a moment I'd never forget, she felt like home to me, but sadly a few days later she came to the restaurant I was working at with her new boyfriend. I knew then and there that I had to turn away because it just hurt too much, and I couldn't bare losing her for a second time. I wouldn't see her again for another 10 years during that time she had 2 more amazing kids, Jillian and Aiden. She had also remarried, I also had remarried at this time to my third wife. We ended becoming friends on social media. And kept in touch that way. I knew she wasn't happy in her situation and I wasn't happy in mine. I got very sick and had a near death experience due to a complication with diabetes. My marriage dissolved shortly after, and hers did as well, 4 years had passed since the last time we saw each other physically. But still she held a very special place in my heart. I ended up becoming homeless, and lived in a trailer park for three weeks until I decided to comeback to the city and enter a homeless shelter. She literally found me in a day, brought me to her house for a meal and to watch movies with Tianna and her then boyfriend.

Later that day I remember her breaking down in her kitchen over her divorce, I held her in my arms and told her she would be alright, I kissed her on the head and it all came back to me, the emotions the love, everything. As I went back to the shelter that day, I couldn't get her out of my mind. We decided to meet up for breakfast the next morning and went back to her house for more movies and then some chatting. I loved the time we spent, everyday my caring for her became stronger and stronger.

Until finally one day when her daughter and boyfriend were watching movies with me and she was going for her nap, something changed, instead of going to bed she called me into her bedroom and we laid down and chatted, she made me feel every emotion a man could feel at that point, and I could no longer hold back. I kissed with everything I had. And she actually thanked me, I told her how I felt about her, and we then made love for the first time. I have never and will never find anyone who made me feel like she did. I felt like a man for the first time in over 20 years. And I truly could not get enough of her. Shortly there after we just couldn't get enough of each other. We made love more during that time then I ever had with anyone in my life, I couldn't get enough of her touch, her lips on mine, and the smell of her body. I used to write her little love poems, I know she really appreciated them, she once called me Mr. Hallmark, I still to this day, loved hearing that nickname it was the greatest compliment anyone could ever give a guy who truly wrote from the heart. She was my world. But I was still homeless, and I was in counseling to deal with the Ptsd that I suffered from it. Six months seemed to fly by so quickly. I remember our first Christmas, I was still in the shelter at the time. I got out early that morning to make her and the kids breakfast.

I had them serve her breakfast in bed and then we opened presents, it was my favorite Christmas until the following one. After the kids went to there respective fathers homes we made love again, and she expressed her love for me like she never had before. It was a very special day in my life, I finally knew I not only had the woman of my dreams but she had me too.

Shortly there after my time at the shelter would come to an end in mid march, I remember my first full night at her home as she was coming home from work that morning, and threw what I thought was a pen at me on the bed. At first I thought she wanted us to express our feelings for each other which I would have been more then happy to do.

I even asked her why she threw a pen on the bed when she remarked look at that, it was no pen, it was a pregnancy test. And it was positive, I can't begin to tell you how incredibly happy I was at that moment, I was going to be a father for the first time at age 40. I never thought I'd ever experience such joy and I was going to get to share it with the woman of my dreams, we went to family planning, to confirm the test, and the doctor asked to see her alone. I knew what they were going to discuss, the Dr. was going to ask her about her options and if she wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Instead Jamie held fast and told the doctor anything she said to her she could say to me. So we went in together and the Dr confirmed she was in fact pregnant and asked about terminating the pregnancy. I told Jamie it was her choice and she immediately without hesitation she said in no uncertain terms, that he has waited his whole life for this moment and she would be honored to have my child. I'll never forget how much love I felt for not only her but the child growing inside her.

We decided to not say anything to her other kids at first, with the exception of Tianna. Who immediately said I knew it. For 4 months it was our secret until one day her son got really sick at baseball and we went to the ER that was the day she told them they were going to have a new brother or sister. At the time we decided to not know the sex of the baby because we wanted to be surprised, the big reveal would be held at her baby shower. The next few months were very tough on me, she seemed very distant, and I couldn't understand what was going on. And my depression worsened. To the point where I started isolating myself from her and the kids, we were both working full time and I was struggling at my new job, I became anxious and irritable, until one day after her sons football game we got into a shouting match at the game, and then again at home, I've never been in an argument like that in my life, I lost control I was so afraid of losing everything I ever wanted in my life, and then I restrained her, not to hurt her but instead because I was in fear. I wish that I could take that moment back. Not only was it the worst thing I'd ever done in my life but it changed everything about our relationship. She could never truly trust me again. And I was the reason for it.
Soon our beautiful amazing little boy was born, we named him Jaxon. Which we had agreed upon before we even knew she was pregnant. I wanted Jack for a name and she preferred Mason so we compromised, I'll never forget that day, we brought her kids to school and went to the hospital where they confirmed she was dilated, we walked the hospital hallways for what seemed like days. A couple of hours went by and they sent her home. We napped for a bit and as the time came to get her kids she started having contractions. She called her ex to have him get the kids, and we were off to the hospital.

Jaxon was born shortly thereafter, I will never forget the moment, the nurse asked her to do a practice push and told her ok stop pushing, she exclaimed she already had, and the nurse panicked a little, luckily another Dr that was about to start their shift was right there and delivered our little miracle right there and then. He was born literally 5 minutes later at 4:47 pm on Wednesday Nov 28th 2012, when the nurse asked if she wanted to cut the cord she quickly said no this is his moment, I cried a bit and cut his cord, it was my proudest moment as a human being. Until I looked in his eyes and held him for the first time.

Everything in the world, was perfect at that moment, I knew she was the one I wanted for our little boy. She was the perfect mom, she was all about her kids and did everything she could for them and I knew Jaxon would be no different, but for myself, my whole world changed, I was now the proud father of this beautiful miracle. I have only loved one person in my life as much as that little boy and it was her. At the time I was working from our house at the job and still struggling with it. Until we had problems with the work internet. I went back into the office. Where I started to flourish, which also isolated me more. I wanted to spend every moment with her and Jaxon, but I could not and the depression deepened.

His first Christmas was all about getting him everything he needed, and we were still not where I would have liked us to be as a couple, I remember a few months after he was born she asked me if I wanted to fool around, and I agreed wholeheartedly. As we finished making love she said to me I've missed this so much and I so stupidly said you could have had it any time you wanted. That stupid remark was probably the last straw for her. We started growing apart again. Had I known then that it would be the last time we made love I would have made it last forever. No one in the world has ever made me feel like a man like she did. And I was about to lose it all due to my passive aggressive stupidity. That October she asked me to move out. I panicked she gave me a month to go, and I tried to find somewhere and someone to room with me, Big mistake. I knew she was serious about me going, and I tried not to show my hurt. But I also felt like I needed to get a fresh perspective and maybe it would work itself out, I couldn't have been more wrong. She found someone else after awhile, and I stayed to myself for a couple of years, then I met my current girlfriend. Its not the same and it never will be. She still holds my heart. There are times where it kills me to see her in the arms of another man. Especially when I feel like I didn't do for her what he does. To hear her tell him she loves him is like a dagger thru my heart. To see pictures of them looking so happy together crushes my soul. And to know it could have and should have been me makes me feel so stupid inside, I love her, I will always love her, she holds the key to my heart, I still tell her I love her as much as I can, I know I'll never hear those words from her again, and its slowly killing me inside. I have been working in therapy now for a few months on trying to open up more. To be more honest with myself and with her. And this testimonial is a part of it. I just want to tell her that no matter what happens I will always be there for her, her kids, and my beautiful boy.

Lastly, I want her to know she is, was and always will be the woman I've always dreamed of. The time we had I'd never change for anything, and I pray to God every night that one day I can walk hand in hand with her again.
© Copyright 2017 Albert Lepage (albertlepage at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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