Nonsensical Limericks

Various Limericks


The first line should have 8 or 9 syllables, same with lines 2 and 5.


A t at the start of an error
Gives a word to strike fear such as terror
A schoolboy mistake
That is easy to make
So cover it up with umbrella


Or hypos or typos


A word starts with only one letter
Two or more of course would be much better
For a second or third
Often leads to a word
That's a long one such as carburetor

Biologists tend to mistake
A body part for a short break
Confusion arises
Because of their sizes
Though they know that three dots is a fake

All proofreaders have to concede
Their clients have essays in need
Of speedy correction
To every last section
So the typescript is easy to read

*

I man I knew said is it true
You write while you wear just one shoe
With a frown I replied
No my hands are two wide
And my shoes are both size twenty two

I once knew a girl called Monique
Who tried to make out she was chic
But try as she might
To prove she was right
She was truth be told an antique

A man said I'm partially dead
I still feel I'm soft in the head
He said I feel weak
And can hear my legs creak
I'll grant you I'm confined to bed
I'm not instead

A man who played cricket Maximillion
Was always seen in the pavilion
Though he'll tell you with pride
He once scored off a wide
It was only a chance in a million

A woman who once lived in Poole
Was thought of as being a fool
She said I declare
I won't go back there
I much prefer living in Goole

An old lighthouse keeper once said
I much prefer lying in bed
To facing the day
When it's cloudy and grey
I much prefer sleeping instead