Awaiting (short writing)

Awaited, I have.
So many days, so many weeks, so many months.
I have waited endless hours.
I have waited so long that I had begun to wonder if I was ever going to be capable of loving anyone.

Then you came along, and I was over the top happy.
I smiled so much, I smiled with my teeth for the first time since I was twelve.
I had barely known you granted, I only saw you in the hallways at school.
But I swear the moment I started talking to you, I felt a spark flicker.
Over the course of the next few weeks, my heart raced and my stomach
flipped, my hands shook and my head spun, just for you.

I had never felt this way before.
Never in my life; the experience was addicting.
To finally have a crush, or some sort of infatuation with a
person. I would get to know you more. I set that as a goal for myself. I wanted to take my time,
knowing how things happened in the past.

Then I learned something.
There was a catch. There it was.
I had to expect it; Mother Nature wasn't going to give me this after months and months of waiting
for nothing. She wasn't going to let me slide under her radar.
I almost missed the catch, almost wasn't aware that it was about to knock on my door
and sit for me to open it so it could slap me in the face.

But there it was.
And it didn't slap nor punch me.
It simply grabbed my hands and whispered in my ear,
"Patience, my dearest. You're going to have to wait."
That dreaded word, 'Wait', I was tired of doing it
and hearing it. Right then and there, I wanted to stomp to Mother Nature
and beg for her to give me my rights and my ability to love.
Most importantly, I wanted to beg her to tell me that I no longer had to wait,
that my love was right there in front of me.

But I didn't.
I didn't lash out, I didn't recoil or attempt to beg for love.
I sat back, with a burning throat and my eyes lined
with hot, burning tears.
I sat back in utter silence.
I sat back in realization that I was going to wait.
I had no choice in the matter; begging wouldn't have done
anything.
It would have made things worse on my fragile heart.

Granted, I had never gone through a heartbreak.
But I've gone through long periods of just idling.
Envying happy couples.
Envying my friends who were in healthy relationships.
I was tired of waiting.
I had all this love and I desperately wanted to share
it with someone, but every person I gave it to returned it
to me and said, "Sorry. This one isn't the right one."

But if this one person is the right one.
Maybe he is, maybe not.
I've just go to wait this time.
All the past times, I have never waited, I just continued on.
This time, I'm waiting.
Because if I truly like him, I'll sit here and hold his seat.
If I truly like him, I'll sit here and wait on Mother Nature to
come up to me and tell me news; good or bad.
I purely despise it, but I don't want to leave
early and something happens to me.
That's like leaving thirty minutes into a party because
it was boring, and five minutes later, your favorite
celebrity's car broke down in front of the house.

I agonize it.
I deeply and truly agonize waiting.
But let it be like the game Mario.
Mario has to cross difficult obstacles before he can
reach his Princess in the castle.

In this case, I'm the Princess.
And I'm waiting for my Mario.