Losing the battle

I'm new to writing so not sure if its any good.. any feedback would be great .. i like writing free verse poetry


I still remember the day that changed me,
Your smell of old spice, your perfect set hair your favourite pants shirt and tie
I had it rough that year, changed schools had no friends and bullied
You were there for me to tell me to keep strong, there is life after school
Your words in the back of my head made moments of school bullying and heartache easier
I made it through high school with you beside me, and your words of wisdom

The year we lost you to mental illness will never stop hurting
I know you did what you did, cause you could no more
I understand the pain of cancer and losing the battle played a part
My sadness years later still lives on
The loss of a father, a hero, a lifesaver
It still haunts me with pain
My heart will never be the same
So many unanswered questions
Why didn't you tell someone
Why didn't we see the signs you were suffering underneath the happy face
Could we have helped to find a solution than leaving a life of unanswered questions
I still often cry to sleep at night wondering
When will be the next time i see you
Will we ever find the answers
I hope time makes it easier to move on

The anniversaries are hard significantly on mum she can't see past it, she wont move on
She cries herself to sleep in a huddle underneath her sheets on her bed
Tears pour furiously and falls asleep in a bundle with your photo beside her
Will the pain ever end