My Best Friend

My Best Friend

For the first time that I can remember, I don't even want to be around me.
Everyone tells you, with time it will get easier, what they don't tell you, that it's going to get much harder first.
That's all I see right now. I lost my best friend, the love of my life, and I can't stop replaying that horrible night over and over again in my head. If only I had reacted quicker.
They say no, I did everything right. Well, if that is so why is he not here with me?
As I looked into those empty blue eyes, his face the color blue, giving him CPR, begging and pleading for him to come back, it had worked before, why not now? No, this time it was permanent.
We all had so much more to learn from him. I still had many more arguments to have with him, so he could have the last word. I still needed more time to say okay at the end of an argument just to frustrate him, so he would continue until I said no more.
All of this brings a smile to my face and heart. These simple moments, his eyes smiling, making me smile and laugh. All the love he had for his family and friends, and laughing together at the smallest things. The simple words spoken without thought many times a day, "I love you."
I will always remember and miss the sparkle of his blue eyes. He was my best friend.

Forever in my Heart

JG