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Joyful cell phone experience for IBS man |
F*ucking cell phone Cost two arms Half leg IBS irate Bought Pelican hard shell Crack proof film Dropped it once F*ucking screen shattered Self irate That goddamned screen Millions of shards Film holding together Shredded dollars F*ucking dollars Worthless sons of b*itches What jackass thought Paper Paper is credit for gold Lets trade paper Paper for phones Paper for phones Cost two arms Half leg Spend paper Get phone More paper Get case More paper Get film More paper Use phone Drop phone whilst shopping Spending paper MOTHER F***** I refuse paper Another phone Yeah NO Press these shards into mine ears Hold'em Blood is pouring Goto bathroom Check sparse wallet Fancy paper for tissues Now bloody paper Check Fancy paper for toilet Now s*hitty paper Check Don't flush fancy paper Place back inside rank wallet Check ... Back to store You dropped phone Guy says NO S*HIT I reply Want upgrade Costs paper ... F*ucking take this s*hit I say Reach for rank dank wallet Toss bloody s*hitty papers at guy Eat this paper! Literally Eat my s*hit! Your precious papers ... F*ucking shards of shredded dollars Do not want another s*hitty phone Never again ... Whats that you say Free Pelican case ... Free I-pad ... Comes with film too ... Guy says All free After paper ... I demand Take soiled papers! Guy says No TAKE S*HITTY SHREDDED SOILED PAPERS! Guy persists No Store wants plastic ... Plastic for phones Plastic is credit for paper Plastic paper phones ... OKAY Trade plastic for new f*ucking phone Drop trow IBS S*hit on store floor chuckling Maniacal laugh Sinister terrifying victory Scar guy Scar store Forever Relish ... Keep fancy soiled paper Check Will use later Check Flip the bird Check Walk out triumphant New toys in hand Drop toys in parking lot Screens shatter |