Suggesting an Original Character

Hello, I've written a concept for an original character that involves belching on my Writing.com interactive:

Belching Girls: Multi-media (Vore & WG)  [GC] #1895549 Make a story with Females belching. by rockysavannah

. If you want to add more O.C.s or other chapters over there, then please do so, because any help would be appreciated.


Backstory: As the daughter of industrial moguls Duncan Connor and María Bacch (Named after the Bacchus, the Roman god of Wine), 17-year-old Becky Bacch was born to inherit their Multi-Billion-Dollar Soda-and-Beer company called Popsi-Cola Inc. Through an amalgamation of sharp business savvy and inept competition, the likes of Budweiser and Pepsi were crushed and absorbed into the ever-expanding global empire. Many countries, including the United States of America lowered their drinking age to 16, a change likely brought upon by the sheer influence of the corporation, or secret bribes and an addictive product, according to whatever barely-surviving opposition would say. However, even with all of the wealth in the world, Becky still felt unfulfilled. Maybe it was out of disappointment that she was given everything through the success of her parents and not herself. Or it was having little social contact, again due to her folks, leaving her to spend her free time by reading books, helping develop new kinds of successful beverages, or engaging in more juvenile activities like belching. Regardless, the girl was struggling to find a purpose to her existence outside of being an heiress, until she got a crazy idea.

One night, she loaded an old backpack with several cans of experimental drinks and sneaked out of the mansion to mark the debut of the Earth’s newest hero: Soda Jerk! Flying across the streets in a full body black jumpsuit and mask with gray boots and gloves, it didn’t take long for Becky to find her first crime to thwart in the form of a classic bank robbery. The crooks were loading their score into a getaway van when a deafening sonic blast that sounded suspiciously like a belch erupted from the nearby alley, knocking the van over and shattering every panel of glass around the block. Though disoriented, the criminals retaliated by firing off several rounds from their handguns into the alley. However, there were no sounds of bullets drilling through flesh and bone, nor the thud of a corpse that had collapsed onto the cold hard ground. The villainous trio gave each other a confused look, but before they could tell what happened, a black blur rushed past them and one of them fell to the pavement unconscious. The remaining two tightened the grip on their guns when they saw it, but another blur dashed at them, too fast for the human eye to see, and before they knew it, another man was down. Now the final gang member was scared, wonder what exactly they were dealing with here. His question was answered by a light hop to the left side of the neck, leaving him to drop face-first on to the concrete.

Satisfied with her work, Soda Jerk returned the money and restrained the thugs until the police arrived before returning home. Contrary to her expectations, she was not alone when she made it back, seeing her mom and dad waiting in her room and wanting an explanation. After a rundown of the nights events and Becky’s reasons for her actions, Duncan and María were filled with remorse over what they’e done and eventually agreed to allow Becky to continue her escapades, provided she wear more protection, balances this duty with the rest of her life, and explain how she created her unique brands of soda.

Personality: Though she appears to be the stereotypical bookworm, in actuality, she’s… well, that much about her is true, but it’s far from the only defining trait about her. In addition to reading up on latest technological breakthroughs (and even having contributed to some of them), she’s also a straight-A+ student and is disarmingly prideful about her intellect. Bravery is also a apt adjective to describe her, as she is willing to lay down her life for another at a moment, whatever obstacle that might prevent her from doing so be damned. However, her impulsive and stubborn nature is also a weakness that she has yet to overcome, as both have lead to her blindly charging at the enemy and not stooping until they fall, which has often resulted in several close calls, much to the fear of her parents. Above all though, it is her infinite capacity for good that is her most treasured trait for that was largely what drove her into a life of heroics, but even someone as nice as her can be pushed to far, just ask those tried to manipulate her. Her habits are eating, drinking, and burping frequently-a consequence for anyone with a diet of soda and alcohol-among other things.

Appearance: Becky towers over most girls her age with a height of 6’0” and a weight of 214 pounds, though much of that is muscle grown from her rigorous physical training. Her red hair is styled as a bob cut, her irises are a lush clover shade, and her skin color perfectly matches her mother’s light tan. Spots of freckles dot her cheeks, further showing her father dominating genetic influence.

Miscellaneous Information:

Morality: Chaotic Good (Willing to break the rules to do the right thing).

Nationality: Born and Raised in the United States of America.

Powers and Abilities: Skilled in hand-to-hand combat and surprisingly athletic, but cannot utilize any superpowers on her own.

Weapons, Gadgets, and Technology: Drinks various sodas which give her different powers.
1 Flying Fizz: Fills her belly with gas akin to helium, allowing her to fly for as long as the gas remains in her body, though it can be burped out.
2 Rushing Raspberry: Raises her blood sugar to levels that would kill any other human being, but somehow Becky’s body reacts differently, as it increases her reflexes and movement speed to hypersonic levels, though she rarely goes this fast in populated areas. It also boosts her metabolism, which ironically makes it so that the affects of this soda last the shortest.
3 Belching Blueberry: Just one sip sends enough supercarbonated gas into the stomach that letting it out as a burp would destroy a two-story building, but if forced into a situation where no other options present themselves, Becky can chug the whole thing in less that a minute and cut belches that would individually destroy an entire city.

Reply if you like the character, or at least the idea of the character. You may use this character in a story of your own if you want, just give me credit. Please leave any suggestions for how this character could be improved and any ideas for more original characters.


HicBurpLover22: First of all, I would just like to mention that I've seen your work way back in the past with Libby as burp girl and I really liked those fics, and that I am willing to help you out with any ideas that this fic may have to offer. I don't need credit and I've helped other writers before although I don't write myself (Though I might plan to if I have a lot of spare time soon)
So anyways, I would like to know what could be your overall plot. Sure you essentially just explained Becky's origin story but what would the focus be. Is it primarily going to be good vs. evil or will you have something else like romance or drama involved?
For other characters, I was thinking that for maybe for a romantic partner or as a partner in general, have Becky find out about a male hacker who has hacked into Popsi Cola inc. and has all of this information about the experimental sodas that Becky has made and even the identity of Soda Jerk. The hacker (let's call him Jack for now) threatens the company that he will leak all of this information on the internet unless he talks to Soda Jerk herself. Becky having no choice decides to meet Jack at his base (which could be hidden in a shady part of town or something). Jack reveals himself to not be a villain, he wasn't going to leak anything in the first place, but he needed to make an alliance with Soda Jerk to stop an incoming terrorist attack. Becky complies with Jack and also confirms her identity with him, and now we have a duo. Jack doesn't have a burping fetish but he begins to get it by being around Becky as they soon fall in love with each other or become good friends. Jack doesn't necessarily fights in direct combat but he can hack stuff easily and he has a nice assortment of gadgets that he can use in self-defense and maybe he gives some for Soda Jerk.
It's up to you if you want to go with this, this is just my idea after all, not yours. I also have no idea what the terrorist group ambitions would be, and I don't have an idea for what another female character could be if you wanted one. We can work on Jack's (if that's what we want to call him) personality later if you want to use him. Also, for my final note, I really like hiccups and since beer often causes hiccups... it would be pretty sweet if somebody gets the hiccups at somepoint.


UPDATE: HicBurpLover22, your ideas sound fantastic. I'll admit that I hate romance and am not very good at writing it. The focus of the overall plot would be a general good vs. evil conflict with some doses of drama. I might place in some comedy, and some of it will involve her burping, but I'll try to use different types of humor so it won't get stale. As for a partner, I like your idea of a male hacker named Jack who starts off as a friend of Becky's but may slowly foster some hidden romantic interest in her, or at least a sexual one revolving around her beautiful belching abilities. He would have little to no combat experience/training/skills and powers, though he would have a secret lair beneath a virtually abandoned district of the town (which I have decided to call Bloodstone City, California). Soda Jerk explains the situation about the 16 year old Jack to her parents and they eventually agree to not press charges against him and even hire him for his technological prowess, but warn him to not cross their company and especially their daughter. Now Jack can work as a 'Lucius Fox-type' figure who helps outfit Soda Jerk with various gadgets and weapons to help take down the terrorist organization, whose name could be the Chaos Corps, a group of anarchists who desire to break down the oppressive governments of the world so that the common man can shape their own destinies without any legal or ethical boundaries, and they're mainly stationed in Bloodstone. Jack's parents, a pair of ex-spies named Elise and Victor Jace, were abducted by the villainous syndicate for their classified information that could jeopardize national security. The Corps uses various methods of physical, mental, and emotional torture to get their captives to cooperate with them. Understandably, Jack wants to free them, so a team up with the city's big hero was necessary. On a final note, yes Becky will get the hiccups at some point in the story.

Additionally, I was thinking of there being other heroes in the world, many of them female. Like Angie Cinder A.K.A. Hothead, an 18 year old middle-class Japanese-immigrant, bestowed with pyrokinetic abilities having an equally-hot passion for preserving the law in her current home of Sydney, Australia. She's a "Lawful Good" kind of crusader, more often than not working alongside the local law enforcement to thwart crime. Cinder was given an Americanized name to better fit in with the populace, her original name being Aguni Shindera (named after the Vedic god of fire who gave her powers and the Japanese word for 'cinder') and had been working as a super hero with a public identity a full 4 years before Soda Jerk. She possesses an average intelligence and though she doesn't know martial arts, Angie does have some degree of fighting skills due to her training at the police academy. She's aware of Soda Jerk and while Hothead thinks she could learn to work within the confines of the law more effectively, overall she's tolerant of the powerless powerhouse. However, Cinder is interested in her burping skills, as despite her feminine personality, she finds a guilty pleasure in releasing putrid gas, especially when mixed with her fire powers and after a private binge of spicy food. It's almost a shame that Soda Jerk is heterosexual, as opposed to Angie's homosexuality.

There's also Wendy Ares A.K.A. Airhead, a 15 year old Egyptian-South African girl living as a fighting instructor in Berlin, Germany. Her name is a pun on the words 'Windy Airs'. She is descended from an ancient tribe of Areokinetic warriors sworn to defend the innocent and punish the vile and uses her inhuman abilities to blow away her enemies. She decided to play hero one day, when a group of thugs tried to mug one of her students, only to have their breath nearly taken away for good. No one could trace the incident back to her, which suited her just fine, as she doesn't like the spotlight. She takes a 'Neutral Good' approach to her actions, taking caution not to cause needless destruction and not being obsessed with every small detail working perfectly. Wendy is a master of every fighting style in the history of the world and uses it in conjunction with her air powers to stomp out criminal scum. She values stealth greatly, to the point where her alter ego's existence is widely considered a myth by the planet and the other heroes. Airhead doesn't know what to make of Soda Jerk or Hothead, thinking that they each have a poor balance between order and chaos in opposite directions, but ultimately respecting their intentions. In terms of burping, she's largely indifferent to it, not being tomboyish enough to enjoy it or girly enough to hate it, though her wind powers can easily turn her eructations into hundred mile per hour gales that can flatten cities if she so chose. Also, she prefers both males and females.

Lastly, there is Gladys Gordon Garcias A.K.A. Glutton Girl, a 19 year old Brazilian-Mexican woman kidnapped and experimented on by a small faction of the Chaos Corps in Argentina. The terrorists were fiddling with chemical meant to affect a person's physicality, hoping to create a breed of super-soldiers, and altered Gladys's body. As a result, she acquired the ability to unhinge her jaw, consume objects larger than herself, enhanced senses of taste, hearing, and smell, complete control over her digestive process and an superhuman appetite. The Corps tested the new powers by force feeding Garcias her own family. Her 10 year old sister Maria and her mother Lucia were shoved down Gladys's throat and in a panic, were accidentally digested. Gladys was reduced to a sobbing wreck, having lost the most important people in the world to her. But that sorrow was replaced by anger, as the super strength given to her by the tests allowed her to break out of containment and feast on the startled terrorists. A think, monstrous belch shattered the windows of the base and echoed into the jungle for several kilometers, signifying the end of the meal. Now alone, Gladys escaped into the night, eventually turning up as a street rat struggling to survive. She decided to exact revenge on the people who hurt her so much by going on a crusade to snack on every last member, as well as any thug who gets in her way. Her moral alignment sits at the 'Neutral' area, wanting to crush evil, but not all that motivated to help people whom she doesn't know. Gladys is an anonymous eating machine, virtually nonexistent to the other heroes, whom Gladys finds are not doing enough regarding the Chaos Corps and are too focused dealing with lesser crimes. She can get very gassy after a meal of a few dozen low lives littering the streets, sporting a face of disgust as her epic eructations roar across the sky. Also, the woman is asexual.

This is what I've got so far. If you have any suggestions, then let me know.


HicBurpLover22: Thanks for all the feedback dude, glad to be of help in some way.

You nailed how I envisioned Jack to be, and don't worry if romantic writing isn't quite your thing, just do what feels right for you. A lot of the humor can be from banter between Jack and Becky. Jack can also be a bit of a gamer, so we can have game references. I can imagine Jack being distracted by playing videogames in the middle of a mission and Becky being a bit annoyed by that. If you are going to go with the gamer idea, then we can have it so that Becky bonds with Jack by starting to get into the habit of playing videogames with him (she hardly plays them) and Jack bonding with Becky by understanding why she decided to become a hero and seeing her have fun with her burps. Also, Becky could get the hiccups by downing a soda too quickly in the middle of a stealth mission revealing her position to everyone forcing her to fight her way out, or Becky has a soda that gives her a random elemental effect every time she hiccups.

Bloodstone City sounds like a very cool place to live not gonna lie, and you could probably make other major cities in this world be named after other gemstones or minerals, for example Diamond City, Topaz City, Ruby City etc. and the Chaos Corps sounds like one serious threat. I have one other idea for them but let me quickly go over your characters.

I really like the idea of there being more heroes, but not directly associated with Soda Jerk. It kinda reminds me of Street Fighter or even Overwatch by having all of these characters from different parts of the world each with different goals and ambitions. They each have their own path but overall just want to get rid of evil.

Hothead can kinda be the Tsundere archetype of the girls, she may be hot but can give people the cold shoulder she meets at first. She can be highly competitive and always wants to keep her pride up. Spicy food is also known to cause hiccups, but I think I'm pushing it too far with the hiccups at this point heh.

For Airhead, maybe she wants to befriend some guy but is too shy to even talk to him or even be near him. She also doesn't want him to be in dander and involved in her dangerous missions because he doesn't have any powers. She also wonders what this guy would even think of her.

The start to Glutton Girl's story could be her binging in WcDonalds (the equivalent of McDonalds in this world) while she thinks on what to do next, meanwhile people are just staring at her in awe as she eats a lunch for 10 or some other ludicrous number as she emits a belch that threatens to destroy the restaurant.

These are just random ideas that I've come up with really quick, but here is what I got for a potential villain.

Dr. Wilhelm is the boss of Chaos Corp, he is an evil scientist with a very monotone voice. He never reveals his past to anyone but he was once a prestigious scientist by the name of Dr. Maxis bringing the future of tomorrow years early, but his experiments soon grew to be too dark so the government shut him down. Now his motives are world domination, destruction and revenge. He is so cold-hearted that he even weaponize her own daughter. I'm gonna let you name her since you do WAY better with names than I do. She is now a ruthless killing machine, her memories are being held by her father and she is constantly being powered up by a special soda that Wilhelm has made himself, giving her the abilities of super strength, the ability to shape shift her hands and feet into weapons, and of course
destructive burping. The soda is being injected through her by little pipes coming in and out of her mouth, I don't know how there is an endless amount but... science. She always has a very quiet case of the hiccups, the ones that only jerk her body slightly, but if you happened to hear a single "hic", it's over, expect yourself to be killed by her, no problemo. Essentially, she is a zombie but the real her can still be in there, fighting for freedom.

Let me know what you think.


UPDATE 2: Again, you've come up with some great ideas. I imagined both Becky and Jack to be very witty since they are both teenagers, so the would have a good back and forth & Jack will be a gamer, while Becky is a noob who tries getting into it. Meanwhile, Jack becomes more attracted to Becky's belching. It would be funny to see Becky get caught by hiccuping and the new elemental hiccup soda (which I'll call Hiccuping Honey) sounds great. Becky has been Soda Jerk for six months.

I may create more cities named after minerals if I feel like it. The Chaos Corps plays a role similar to HYDRA from Marvel, but on a smaller scale. The story takes place in 2017, but the Chaos has been around for about 25 years.

The assorted heroes of the world are current scattered, but they may crossover at some point, probably in response to an attack by the Chaos Corps, similar to the Avengers.

Hothead does get hiccups from Spicy food, as well as burps, and is prideful and competitive. Though she's respected by the police, she doen't have many friends, focusing more on her work and being paid for it.

Though Airhead is very devoted to her clan, she also wants to experience things that a typical girl would. However, she keeps her desire to men, as people still have trouble accepting the LGBT community and her special upbringing robbed her of social skills, so Wendy acts very awkwardly around her crush, James Jaxson. Aires has been in action for two years now.

Glutton Girl spends much of her time gorging at various restaurants and hotels, being able to afford such luxuries by hoarding the money from her criminal victims. The owners of the establishments have gotten use to her presence and are afraid that she might eat them out of business. She has been on the hunt for the Chaos Corps for one year.

Chaos Corps leader, Dr. Carl Wilhelm will be the main antagonist to these heroes. He is 50 years old and his daughter, Marsha is considered by him to be the 'Ultimate Life Form', due to her powers. She is twenty years old and got her abilities three years ago and has been an operative for the Chaos Corps for just as long. Countless innocents were butchered by the living weapon, some for strategic purposes , but mostly out of pure sadism. Marsha herself is an emotionless girl, pretty much the 'Winter Soldier' of the group. She is bulletroof, has perfect mastery over every form of combat and weaponry on Earth, can weaponize any object, and has above human physicality. The Doctor from New Zealand created the power-inducing soda in a similar way to how Becky created her's. Marsha Wilhelm is codenamed, Chaos Queen, and is a 'Neutral' character being forced into a 'Chaotic Evil' role, though hopefully, the remains of her former self buried deep within her can find a way to break free...

Also, JWAPPEL suggested on Deviantart another character 13 hours ago:

Catherine "Conquer" Jones. She's tiny at 5'4 and the girliest of the girly girls fro constantly dressing in pink and glitter to being obsessed with shoes. Challenge her to anything however and watch her pwn you, especially burping contests.


HicBurpLover22: Awesome, all of this seems really great. I honestly don't know any other ideas for this at this point, but I will probably message you if anything comes to mind. Also my apologies, I thought you wrote fanfics for Libby as burp girl from that one episode way, way, WAY back in the past, but then I remember that you were the one who uploaded the clip on YouTube, I must have been thinking of someone else or something... But I still like your other work, don't get me wrong.

Also, when I look through your DeviantArt favorites I can't help but notice that you are into farts as well. I only just recently got into farts and I wouldn't be opposed if there was a farting scene as well in this series. Becky's farts are completely normal and not super powered, so I can imagine a funny scene where she prepares for a large burp to strike an enemy but the burp comes out the other end as a normal fart.

Hothead might have spicy fiery farts that can propel her like a rocket. Airhead doesn't fart as it may be too dangerous because of her powers. Glutton Girl can have the most foul farts and burps that she can channel, especially after a Brazilian-Mexican feast with beans.


UPDATE 3: Interesting. The girls farting could be funny, so I may include it.


HicBurpLover22: Any other updates on Soda Jerk?


UPDATE 4: Not yet, but there might be more non-superhero-themed characters appearing in the story.


HicBurpLover22: Ah, so like a anti-hero or a bounty hunter?


UPDATE 5: It would be a bounty hunter, named Juliet Winters, a British gun for hire who makes a living bringing in/killing criminals to collect the price on their heads. She is indifferent to the other heroes, but is interested in the Chaos Corps, if only because of how much money she could get by taking them down.


HicBurpLover22: Sounds pretty good. Maybe she has some royal blood but isn't interested at all at doing her family traditions. She is very polite to her payers, and she never let's them down. She also pays some respect to the person she needs to kill for the bounty, saying something like "sorry for killing you but business is business." Her attire could be like a fancy coat that can shoot ice shards, but she is never without her trusty sniper rifle.


UPDATE 6: Sounds cool. Any other ideas?


HicBurpLover22: I'm not quite sure... maybe she doesn't like burping but she's naturally pretty gassy. She apologizes a lot whenever she does burp in front of someone, and tries her best to keep her belches in or at least let them out quietly as closed mouth-burps.


UPDATE 7: Nice. I'll see if JWAPPEL has something more to offer.

Hey, so HicBurpLover22 and I were discussing new original characters and I wanted to see if you had something more to offer.


JWAPPEL: I'll see what I can come up with and Yes. Catherine's body actually adapts to challenges, meaning her belly expands for competive eating, she undergoes muscle growth for strength contests, etc. It's this way because her family is quite rich and scientists hired by her parents were paid to experiment with her and make it this way.
What do you think?


UPDATE 8: Sounds good.

So, anyone else out there who is interested in this stuff please let me know if you have any ideas for characters and/or settings.