The Island (Day 12)

It's been twelve days since I was marooned on this God-forsaken island with my two brothers— Gary, the self-described ‘greatest athlete who has ever lived,’ and Bill, an accountant who works for the federal government. Luckily, we’ve had plenty of food so far. Gary determined straightaway that he could bring down sea birds by throwing coconuts at them. This worked well at first, but then the clever avians took to flying at higher altitudes, outsmarting Gary with their pea-sized brains.

To compensate for their higher flight, Gary threw the coconuts higher and harder. Eventually, the ‘nuts created vapor cones as they broke through the sound barrier. This seemed, at first, to be a viable solution, except that the birds were all but annihilated when the projectiles found purchase. In time and with Bill’s computational intelligence, Gary began launching his ‘nuts with proper lead, arc, and velocity to bring his targets down intact. The only hitch seems to be an increased incidence of downward falling coconuts striking Bill on the head. This conundrum began at or about the time that Bill cited certain intellectual similarities between Gary and the birds. Gary insists that this is just coincidence. I remain unconvinced. Nonetheless, it is a price I am willing to pay.

With our food source ensured— I, being the better cook, prepare this sea fowl that we feast upon each day. The birds seem in endless supply. Bill surmises that Gary’s carrion-like body odor is attracting them from neighboring islands. Gary disagrees, believing instead, that we must be marooned on ‘Bird Island.’ I am without opinion.

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