USS Enterprise Meets Clarabell the Clown

Lounging in the command chair on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise, Commander James Tiberius Kirk stared absent mindedly at the view screen. At that moment the ships external cameras were panning across the darkness of intergalactic space.

"Spock," he address his science officer without looking at him. "Do you want to remind me why Starfleet Command ordered us to patrol the edge of the universe?"

"Sir," Spock looked up form his command station, "this is the edge of the galaxy, not the universe."

"I know that, you dunderhead!" Kirk turned around to glare at his old friend. "Just tell me why those desk jockeys at Starfleet Command want us here, when we could be attacking Klingons on Qo'noS."

Spock raises one eyebrow, "Why would we want to attack the Klingons' homeworld?"

"Spock, you're being evasive? Just answer the damn question before I throw you in the brig!"

"Very well, Sir," Spock glanced at Sulu who was attempting, unsuccessfully, to focus on his instruments rather than the confrontation on the bridge. "Two merchant ships and a galaxy class cruiser has disappeared in the quadrant in the last year. Starfleet wants us to search for debris and/or survivors."

"Then why are we sitting here staring off into space?"

"We covered that at the briefing this morning, Jim."

"Spock," Kirk got up from the command chair and stalked to the science station. "Do you expect me to remember everything said at those boring briefings? I give the briefing, but I don't listen to what I say. You're supposed to remember these things."

"We are looking for the source of a distress call we picked up this morning."

Uhura, who was setting at the communications station, looked up at the view screen. "I believe," she pointed at the view screen and burst into laughter.

"Lieutenant," shouted Kirk as he turned to look at the view screen. Staring back at them was a giant laughing Clarabell clown head.

"What the..."

"I believe," said Spock raising his eyebrow again. "That is a character from a 1956 children's show. If I am not mistaken that is the clown who appeared on the Howdy Doody show."

A lemon meringue pie appeared out of nowhere and hit Kirk in the face. Q's voice echoed through the bridge. "Happy April Fool's Day!"

WC: 383