The Nut House

"We're sending you down south to a psychiatric hospital."
"... When do I leave?"
"Right now."




I arrive at the 'nut house' with a group of 6 other patients. They all seem pretty normal to me. What am I saying? I'm normal, I don't belong here. The nurse who is taking us to the basement - sorry, the psychiatric ward, is telling us what we'll be doing while we're being imprisoned. I can't listen to him because I'm too busy wondering how I got myself here in the first place. We make it to the ward and he shows us where we'll be sleeping. There's about 12 rooms from what I can see. I get room number 3 in the corner. Perfect. The nurse lays down some ugly light blue hospital clothes on the bed and tells me to get changed, dinner is in 20 minutes. Great. I reluctantly put on the clothes and the shoes without shoelaces so we can't harm ourselves. Whatever. I decide to keep my black cardigan purely for comfort and a big fuck you to the nursing staff. I come out of my room and follow some other patients to the dining hall. I sit in the corner on a table with 4 chairs around it. I've always loved being in the corner of a room so that I can watch everyone but no one pays much attention to me. I'm very forgettable. Someone comes and sits beside me. I look up and quickly look back down.
"Hi. I'm Dianna." She's very pretty. Eyes the colour of milk chocolate, crooked teeth but a beautiful smile, short brown hair I want to run my fingers through. Why did I just say that? I'm not a lesbian.
"Debbie."
"Nice to meet ya Debbie. Not hungry?" She points to the empty spot in front of me.
"No not really."
"You're so lucky you get to keep your cardigan, I wasn't allowed to keep anything."
"It helps that I'm so forgettable. No one notices anything about me."
"I bet that's not true. So what are ya in for?"
"..."
"That's fine. You can tell me later. I'm here because I have severe depression and I cut myself."
"That sucks..."
"Yeah, well, whatcha gonna do?"

After dinner we all go the next room over and watch tv, hangout, do some of the lame games they have here or play pool. I decide to sit on a rocking chair and watch whatever the quiet boy next to me is watching. I'm not really watching it, I'm in my own world wondering how the hell I got sent here in the first place.
"Wanna switch?" The curly haired quiet boy says.
"No, I'm good thanks."
"Alright."
Dianna plops herself down on the big couch next to the chair I'm in.
"Wanna do a puzzle?"
"I guess so. Nothing else to do here anyway."
We sit at a small table near a door that leads outside. It's a nice and sunshiny day outside.
"Depression, self harm and anorexia." I say once we've started separating the puzzle pieces into corner and inside pieces.
"I'm sorry, what?" She seems genuinely confused.
"At dinner, you asked me why I was here. That's why." I look down at the pieces, I can't look at her right now. I've never told anyone about my anorexia besides my doctors and the shrinks.
"Oh..."
It's clear she doesn't know what to say since she's also looking down at the puzzle. She looks like she's buried in her thoughts right now. Man, I hated when people were obviously thinking about me. As if I wasn't right there in front of them.
"I know what you're thinking. 'But you're too fat to have an eating disorder', and yes, yes I am."
"You are so not fat."
"You don't have to say that. I know I am. Anyway, let's change the subject."
"Fine by me. Do you live around here?"
"No, I live a couple hours north. Do you?"
"Yes, it's a pretty shitty city though."
"Haha, yeah I can tell."
We continue doing the puzzle and getting to know each other more. Before we knew it, it was lights out time. 10 pm, could it be any earlier? I get to my room and lie down but I'm not the least bit tired yet. My thoughts are racing about Dianna, about what's going to happen here, and more importantly- how long am I going to be in here for?