"Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty.'

“Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty.”

I was standing on the second story balcony of my house dangling a trout to one of the eight foot kittens that had invaded our street. I thought it was better to entice them with food then to be playfully slapped around in what they seemed to think was fun. Most of the residents had been boarded up in their homes since the kittens had arrived.

“You know if you feed a cat, you will never get rid of them,” a voice behind me said.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously, don't you know anything about cats?”

I looked down at the cat I had just fed who was sitting on the lawn licking its paws and purring, except it sounded more like thunder.

I turned around, went inside, then slammed and locked the patio door and stood with my back to it. Now what?

The phone rang and I ran to answer it. “Hello.”

“Hi Mary, I've had about enough of these kittens.”

“You and everyone else in town I'm afraid.”

“They are tearing up my grass; lying there and kneading it with their claws. I want to sneak out back and turn the garden hose on them but I'm afraid to go out there cause there's one up the tree. You heard about Bobby Jones didn't you?”

“No, what happened?”

“He went out to his shed to get something and one jumped down from a tree right on top of him. Well, he had all he could do to get out from underneath it and by the time he got back in the house he was full of scratches. The kitten was playing but it's still dangerous.

“That's terrible, is he OK?”

“Well he was bleeding all over the place but Sylvia doctored him up. If he doesn't get infection he'll be fine.”

“It's been on the news all week, the whole state is getting overrun by them. Why you can't even let your dog outside now. We have to take the dog in the garage, get in the car, then drive out of town until we don't see any of them, then let the dog out on his leash. You can't let him off the leash because if he saw one he'd have to chase it and he's no match for a cat that size; kitten or not. Sometimes they chase the car down the street, thinking it's a game, but we've been able to outrun them so far. Something drastic will have to be done.”

“I think Kitten Chow better come up with a plan; and soon! It was their idea to experiment with the cat food and now we've got mutant cats on our hands.”

“The city's been busy with their bulldozer hauling mounds of sand into town and piling it up so the kittens can do their duty.”

“Speaking of duty, maybe they should have the National Guard come in and take care of the animals!”

“Then we will have PETA down our throats.”

“Our kids aren't safe out there. The Johnson boys got some big balls of twine, tied them behind their bikes and went cycling down the street. When they looked around there were six of those big kittens all romping and running behind them. Luckily their Dad saw them coming, ran and opened the garage door, and slammed it behind them. I bet they got a tongue lashing.”

“My kids have been told they are not to leave the house unless they are in the car with us.”

“I'll talk to you later, stay safe.”

That evening at bedtime I took one last look out the bedroom window. It was downright frightening. There were at least eight glowing cat eyes out on the lawn. I suppose they were out there waiting for more trout. Fat chance of that happening.”

Next morning I woke up to the children yelling up the steps, “Mom, Dad, come down and watch TV, they are talking about the kittens.”

We threw on our robes and went downstairs to watch the television.

In the end, Kitten Chow was held responsible for creating the mutant kittens and would bear the cost of tranquilizing and transporting the kittens to a facility that would keep them contained and well fed. The facility would give them ample space to run and play as they loved to do, for after all they never meant harm to anyone. They were just too big!!!!


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