Cephalotus titillaverit

1891

Let’s be honest, stranded in the middle of the Pacific on a deserted island was a bad scenario. That was what Roy had thought when cruise liner he was on sank. He had been on his way to join his family in China for business-vacation combination when weather had taken a turn for the worse. It wasn’t long after that the ship had sunk. Roy had been lucky; he had been near the deck when the captain had announced the ship was sinking and he had quickly boarded one of the life rafts but unfortunately it had not lasted long in the rough water and he had been forced to swim to the island he was now stranded on with nothing more than the cloths on his back. The swim had been grueling; he was not more than a mile from the island beach but the current was strong and he had to swim half way around the island in order to find a beach he could swim to. Roy was fortunate that he was a star on the swim team at his school and was built as such. His body was lean and well-muscled, not bulky but strong enough to manage the swim.

For the first few hours he had only lain on the sandy beach trying to recover from the shock and strain of what happened. But like any teenage boy, hunger had eventually driven him to movement. Now the red head found himself wandering the tropical island looking for food. At first he had skirted the beach looking for coconut or anything that seemed eatable but was disappointed by what he found and he also felt himself starting to burn. Roy was one hundred percent Irish and as such he had typical Irish looks. His hair was a fiery red, his eyes a light brown and his skin was pale and very susceptible to burning. So instead, he pushed inland and entered the rainforest like terrain. It was hot and humid and the forest was alive with plants unlike anything he had ever seen. Massive trees created a shady canopy that seemed to stretch up forever and the ground was scarcely visible under the cover of underbrush. Roy had wandered the island for a few hours and it was now midafternoon. The day was hot and Roy had stripped his shirt off tossing it over his shoulder as he continued to explore the island’s deceivingly vast interior.

Roy eventually came to a large marshy area and found a massive plant at its heart. The plant was a dark green with a massive trunk and a large red and pink flower blooming at the top. Roy felt drawn to it, the air smelled sweet here and seemed even warmer but the base seemed like a good place for a rest. He left his shirt at the edge of the marsh, dropping it without a second thought and ventured through the muddy water, hardly noticed losing his shoes in the mud as he approached the colossal base of the plant. For a few moments he simply stood there inhaling the scent of the flower. The redhead was so intoxicated with the smell that he didn’t notice feelers descend from the under the blossom. Nor did he feel these feelers slowly begin to encircle his body. In fact, Roy’s mind was so numbed by the aroma that it was only when the large blossom flipped up to reveal a massive pitcher that he started to worry. Roy started to struggle as the feelers lifted him and brought him head first to the mouth of the plant.

Inside the plant was lined with many, hair-like projections all the way down as far as Roy could see which was deep enough for two of him. He thrashed around trying to loosen the feelers but it had the opposite effect instead. The feelers holding him tightened their grip and sped up his descent into the monster’s maw. As his head entered he continued to struggle only to find out something that horrified him. The hair-like projections tickled! He couldn’t believe it! The little hairs brushed against the back of his neck and ears causing him to giggle and momentarily cease his struggling. That was all the time the plant needed to force the teen further into its mouth. As if the ordeal wasn’t already terrifying, feelers reached up from the monstrous plant’s stomach. These feelers joined the other ones already binding his upper body and after some shifting around, pulled his arms down into the creature’s mouth. They were securely wrapped around his wrists and to Roy’s horror the projections in the pitcher started to wriggle against his armpits. “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE,” Roy couldn’t help it. He had been ticklish when he was young, as he grew people had stopped tickling him and he had assumed he had grown out of it. Now that his life was in danger, he was finding out he was still ticklish in the worst possible way. The constant tickling forced him to breathe heavier, and use energy thrashing around instead of trying to escape. The tickling also filled his mind and prevented him from thinking about how to free himself without falling into the giant pitcher below him.

The plants feelers continue to feed him into the massive opening and with his arms above his head, not only where his armpits vulnerable, but his whole upper body was. Now he was in up to his ribs and the projections were taking full advantage of more of his ticklish body. Roy was sure if he didn’t do something soon, he would be done for and so despite the intense tickling, he started to struggle and think of a strategy. He thrashed about wiggling from side to side, trying to stay in the center of the pitcher and away from the tickly sides, but to his horror instead of helping his cause it worsened his position. The projections moved towards him! They slowly extended from the wall of the pitcher and caressed his armpits and probed his ribs earning powerful gales of laughter. As he laughed, the plant seemed to grow stronger and consume his faster. The feelers that were holding him above now retreated to suspend him only by his legs as the projections reached up to greet his belly and sides. By now his head was about a fourth of the way in and that apparently meant something to the plant because now the tickling hairs felt slimy, and to Roy’s horror it made him more ticklish.

Now that all of the prey’s upper body was swallowed and covered in the tickle-juice, the monster swiftly stripped the teen of his pants with the feelers leaving only boxers. The pants would only get in the way of digestion and more exposed skin the greater laughter could be drawn. On that note the plant fed the boy in all the way to his ankles. The feelers greased his legs and began immediately subjecting them to the same tickling torment that the rest of the body was suffering from. Gales of laughter flowed from the prey’s lips as he suffered the tickling of his lifetime.

As horrible as this was, Roy knew that it paled in comparison to what came next. The teen was sure that he was going to die but before that his feet were going to be tickled. That thought was terrifying enough. Roy had been ticklish as a child and his feet had always been the worst. Now not only was a man-eating plant going to kill him but it was also tickling him and the only thing between hundreds of tickling hairs and his most sensitive places were a pair of thin cotton socks.

The feelers now brought his feet into range of the tickling, and Roy knew it was over. The plant’s hairs reached out and ever so slightly caressed a socked foot. Roy couldn’t help himself as a he let out a powerful laugh, “HAHAhaHaahAHhaHA,” and just when he was sure the situation could not get any worse, the feelers peeled his socks off. The hairs began tickling his bare feet and oozing their sinister concoction, greasing them up and leaving Roy in a worse position. Then the hairs began slipping underneath and in between his toes, adding their lubricant to the already sensitive areas. Roy was almost out of his mind with tickles and was only just barely able to concentrate on getting free and just as he was forming a plan a new level of horror struck. The hairs began to vibrate against his now totally lubricated and sensitive body, before the hairs had only tickled his ticklish spots, armpits, sides, ribs, belly, legs and most recently feet. Now though, parts of him that shouldn’t ticklish were his back and even the top of his head tickled like mad and Roy’s consciousness faded to blackness.

The plant’s hairs felt the struggling cease and only minimal gas exchange take place. At this point it dropped its prey into its stomach and began the long digestive process of breaking down and absorbing as much of the vitamins and minerals as possible before expelling the waste from its body. Then it would return to a dormant state until it’s next prey wandered into it’s trap.


2067
Cephalotus titillaverit is a rare type of carnivorous plant found only on a handful of islands in the remote reaches of the Pacific. It is identifiable by its large blooming flower, generally variants of red and pink and long vine-like feelers that operate on their own. The plant normally only grows to be four feet tall by two feet wide but some have been able to reach heights of twelve feet and widths of seven. Information on this plant is scarce but like many other carnivorous plants they are unable to derive the nutrients they need from the soil and resort to the consumption of other creatures in order to live. They belong to a group of plants that attract prey with a mind numbing scent that draws them in and trap their prey with feelers once they are dazed by the smell. These feelers then force feed the prey to a large pitcher like chute that ends with a stomach that secretes an acid capable of breaking down living tissue. This plant is notable among its cousins because not only is it unable to draw sufficient nutrients from the soil they grow in but they also require large amounts nitrogen and carbon dioxide that they are able to get from stimulating rapid breathing in the creatures they catch. This rapid gas exchange ensures that the plant is not forced to remain active for long periods by maximizing the gases harvested during feeding time. To ensure such rapid exchange, the pitcher is lined with numerous projections that cause a tingling sensation as the prey passes down to the pitcher into the stomach. These projections are capable of not only movement but also of vibrating to elicit the most productive gas exchange. The projections also secrete a substance that when in contact with skin not only acts a lubricant, but also increases sensitivity. The mechanism for triggering this substance is not clear nor is its chemical make-up but its effects are undeniable. The feelers of the plant also seem to be able to remove anything that interferes with the stimulation of prey. This information has been gathered through careful observation and a few tests. The team that gathered these notes are now mostly digested by the very plant they were previously researching.