The Search

Back in the days
When you could meet someone
At the airport gates
I looked for you
And you weren't there.
At least I thought so.
When you walked up to me
Hair cut short in a buzz cut
I knew you then.
Finally, I knew you.

Back in the times
When I was looking
For someone to love
Who loved me back
I met you.
Dismissed you
As someone I'd never see
Again.
I looked for you
But had chosen someone else
And did not see you.

Back in those years
When I was second best
To his other pursuits
I looked for you.
And did not know it.
You were there constantly
And I was unknowing
Our friends kept trying
To push us together.

Back in their apartment
Playing Monopoly and
Drinking Red Zinger
Iced tea, you were there.
I stopped looking
Because you were
Nice, but not my guy.
Kind and helpful,
Sweet and generous.
But not my guy.

On that night
When you asked me out
You were looking
Just for dinner, not a date
I agreed.
As a friend or maybe
An acquaintance plus.
Nothing else.

Before my shower
I brought in the mail.
The letter came.
A rejection letter.
No graduate school,
And I needed to go out.
I wore a dress and heels
To eat dinner with
A nice generous guy
Who let me rant.

We went out again on a weekend
And again and again.
My guy was happy
I found a friend, had company
While he sat up all night
Playing games in a empty building
With overgrown adolescents
Til dawn.

Six months later
I stood in the airport
In Albuquerque
Looking for you.
I did not see you
At first
But then you came to me.
I was surprised by you
But you were there
And I was done looking.